Footsteps Footsteps

I have no one to blame but myself on this matter but I feel like if I don't stop now I'll be following in my brother's footsteps soon... Even as I say this there is a screwdriver waitin to be downed right next to me.

It's not so much that I am an alcoholic as an addict. I prefer other things but when they aren't available to me alcohol is a very easy solution. Sadly there is a lot less stigmatism on drinking as there is on other things.

I know I'm an addict because by the time that it is nightfall I am thinkin about what I will drink or smoke to mellow me out enough to go to sleep. If I said I wish I weren't like this I don't know that it would be completely true... I don't like being sober at night but I've gotten much better at staying sober for daylight.

My brother has gotten 2 duis and has been told by a doctor if he doesn't stop drinking he'll lose his liver. Pretty fricken scary. Not that he's changed his behavior. I know I'm not quite like him because I don't want to be drunk drunk... just sleepy.

Sadly it's not even that I don't know what to do... It's more like I don't know if I want to do anything about it.

HereNowForever HereNowForever
22-25, F
Mar 11, 2010