I'm Trying So Hard.

I know most of my life I'm the fat girl, people tell me I'm perfect but I don't feel like it. I don't like to eat anymore I force down the food and lie to people that I love it... I throw it up later and then cry because the pain in my stomach hurts to much. I know it's killing me. I know it's bad I just can't stop I want to be that skinny girl that someone notices. The skinny girl that a guy can pick up and swing around easy. I hate being so big that I can't even go swimming with people around looking at me. I will try till I die to be skinny.
deathbyblades16 deathbyblades16
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 20, 2013

when I was your age I felt the same way. the truth is you will not always be the fat girl. losing weight in a healthy way can help, but starving yourself or throwing up your food isn't going to help you lose weight. it might at first, but then when your body is suddenly starving, you will eat almost nothing and gain all the weight back. my best advice to you is to try to work out sometimes and eat healthy. tell your family or whoever that you want to eat a bit healthier, smaller portions and go for long walks with headphones or something. this method will take longer, but even going for a walk has proven to make us feel a bit better emotionally -- endorphins. I have known many bulimic people and it won't keep you slim and it will cause you a lot of emotional and physical pain. if you think about how much effort you are putting into throwing up your meals, you could put the same effort into being a bit more active and healthy. when I turned 17 I started to work out. I was always chubby. working out really helped me slim up and I even had a little muscle. I can't convince you otherwise, it has to be your choice. you won't be sixteen/seventeen forever. hang in there and be strong.

They are plenty better ways. :(

I tried them and they never work...

Anything i do mean anything is better than that.

its my choice...i know there is something better but this is working for me...i know it harms me but...i can't help it.