It Is Sad How Long It Took....

For the longest time I had seen the portrayal of the typical adolescent loser, in movies and in real life, and never considered myself that or ever wanted to be that. Now that I look at my life, I am that. I am nineteen and live with my parents who still have to support me financially because I don't have a job. I am struggling in college and have not made any new friends since high school. I would rather sit at home and play a computer game all day than go out and socialize with friends. I am really lazy, constantly depressed, moody, my home life is ****** and I cannot have intellectual conversations with people because I am not very bright. All through school I only worked for the grades so my father would not tear me apart mentally about failing. I never really retained any information, at least I don't feel I did, and this has made moving foreward academically much harder. My parents are disconnected to me emotionally. They really don't care about how I feel on the inside, not a single bit. So here I am now as the unemployed, unintelligent, down-in-the-dumps, loser who will always be as such.
Nankurunaisa Nankurunaisa
18-21, F
2 Responses May 30, 2011

Lol for a second I thought "wait..did I write this???" I am in very much the same position, but even older than you. I finished college, moved back home and still unemployed. It sucks, but if there's anything I've learned in life is that you might as well start fixing it now because you can only get older and it will only get worse if you delay. I'm in therapy at the moment, have kicked my gaming addiction and am working on getting employed. You're young; don't panic until you're thirty and in the same situation as you are now.

u are not a loser by any means..ur just a a girl trying to find her own peace of mind. Just because you don't live up to everyone's expectations doesn't mean your a loser. your 19 and still live with your parents? i'm 23 and i still live with's actually a smart thing to do because u don't have to pay for stuff right? plus ur a college should just focus on school and not worry about all the other stuff..and u are smart if u made it to least ur not workin some dead end job that will get u no where...i think u should give urself more credit than u do..if being social isn't your thing and staying home makes u happy then don't worry about what u love to do..but if u do want to get out and meet people think about ways u can do it. maybe be more involved in clubs at school..and please don't think ur not smart because trust me by the way u write i can tell ur smart and u have a voice..things will get better but it's goin to take some effort on ur part...u can't do the same things everyday over and over and expect different outcomes...if u don't like something ..change it..if u can't change it.. then chage the way u think about it....