Returning To Workafter being off on disability for over a year, I'm now on a 'return to work plan'
One of the hardest things I've had to do was go back to this office. Its fairly small, under 40 people working there, mostly female and full of gossip.
The first couple days were alright. I was only there a few hours a day and had my manager with me most of the time.
This week My hours increased to 6 hours a day/ 3 times a week, and though it may not seem like much, its really been exhausting. mentally, physically and emotionally.
One of my biggest worries about going back were people's attitudes. There were a few people on disability while I was working full time and my co-workers would talk so much crap about them....the girl i sat next to even said to me one day 'if i ever went on disability i could never face people here again'. Another girl that I had on my facebook made comments when she twisted her ankle how she could "NEVER go on disability'. I deleted her after I read that.
So now that I'm starting to do more work on my own, its starting to be even worse than before. People still whispering around me. Now most people wont even make eye contact with me let alone say hello.....that is unless my manager is around. Girls I used to go on lunch with have now turned against me since I "have been ignoring them for the past year".
It really breaks my heart. I have a major depression and pretty bad anxiety with panic attacks. It's hard for me to talk about what's been going on to people who are so completely ignorant. They think you can just magically be happy.....they really have no idea.
I've been trying really hard not to let them get to me, but today I was pretty close to breaking down at work. My ex-best-work friend went around to everyone in our department - except me - and passed out christmas cards and homemade treats (since shes going away for several weeks & will be missing the holiday seasons). Every single person, except for me.......
I still can't get over that she is telling people that I have been ignoring her......when I try to say hello and she is polite enough to say hi and then is quick to walk away from me.
One guy from IT that I've actually had a conversation with told me that nobody thought that i was going to come back.
they even hired another girl to take my position while I was gone......not a temp but a full on hire.
I don't know if i can do this.