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Does He Think I Don't Know???

So for the past month now my live-with boyfriend/fiance  or whatever he was/is??? of 3 YEARS  has been lying right to my face.....this is KILLING me, why would you lie to someone who you say you love and want to be with forever, its so wrong and sneaky. and it's about something so miniscule and stupid, but makes me wonder if he'll lie about something so small , he'll lie about even worse things...so heres my story....I need to let it out

4 weeks ago I say "want to meet for lunch together" and he tells me he's way too busy at work and he has too much to do for a lunch break. I say "ok"  later that day I decite to go get me my favorite sweet tea on my lunch break, then as I'm driving there I see HIM and some chick walking out of the resturant!!! WTF?? He's "too busy" has too much to do???" LIAR I called him out on it when he got home and was so calm even though I should have been off the walls mad, I told him " I dont like being lied to, it makes me feel like crap and it makes me think you're hiding things from me" he says I'm sorry it wont happen again , next time I'll invite you too.....blah, blah blah.........."

So since then I see him differently and dont trust or belive him.....and I have perfect reason to...because he did it AGAIN today.....with the same girl no less..AND SHE"S MARRIED!!!!! WHO ELSE CONSIDERS THIS CHEATING????


LIES ON TOP OF LIES WILL GET YOU NO WHERE!!!

He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second and a third time till at length it becomes habitual.

the punishment of a liar: he is not believed, even when he speaks the truth.


I'm lost I dont know what to do, I can't be with someone I can't trust and I dont want to be........Im about to lose it....I am stuck in a town where I know 2 thats right 2 ppl and he's the one who puts the roof over my head and everything else.....I'm stuck in a bad situation that's only going to get worse....I'm stuck and theres nothing I can do!!!!!

I'm not an idiot like he thinks i am, i dont deserve this and Im better than that, yet he wins everytime because he doesnt know I know about the 2nd time it happened....I'll never trust him again and isnt that the basis for a good relationship??? I cant get up the guts to leave...I have no where to go!!!!!!


saostar81 saostar81 21-25, F 6 Responses May 3, 2007

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I am going through the same thing, my husband lies constantly over everything from smoking spice to having secrets dating accounts. I don't make the money, he is military and we agreed he would provide because he can and I would be in school, as I just turned 19. I have no where to go with no money, every time we argue he takes all the money but maybe $100 and puts it into the secret account he has. Not only that but I didn't finish my education so I cant get a job worth it to pay all the bills I would have if i did leave. He thinks that I wont find out or that I am stupid enough to believe what he says when he can't even keep up with his lies, he will mix them up and stutter... I just realized the date this was written, has it gotten any better? Did you leave?

If you think you have no where to go, now, how will you feel later when he comes home and you are starting to make love and his **** "tastes like her *****?" I know that is a hard thing to imagine, but quite possible. My advice is to start, now, planning to leave. Start putting little bits of money away until it is enough to get you a new start. Yes, it may take months, or even a year, but when the trust is gone there just isn't anything left to do but end it.

I have lived with this for 13 years.. it will wound your soul.. get out while you can...

I know what you are going throough. I am going through something similar, except in addition to lying, I get tons of mental and emotional abuse as well. And like yourself, I can't leave. I have no where to go. He is the bread winner, and any money I do make, goes straight to him. I get nothing that I need, adn yet our bills always seem to be past due, and our account overdrawn. There is an ex-wife involved, and am getting phone calls of seeing them all over town, yet he says he is visiting with his son, so I feel like a ***** accusing him of doing anything with her. Maybe we can chat sometime? I feel so alone on this....

I want to do the right thing and leave him but I'm so scared I dont have anywhere to go really, and of course stupidly I love him, I'm just so STUCK and SCARED

psst - one of the creeds of men is 'Deny it till you die'. Never admit about cheating, even in the face of undeniable evidence. Honestly, give him what we expect for it - let all hell break loose....