Abused

Well a couple years ago my mother and I had to move in with my cousins because of money issues. I was having the greatest time learning about cars and other new things. But that doesn't really matter right at this moment. I never was really close to these cousins. But I finally got to know them and I love them with all my heart. I'm 18 and they are like almost 50.

So we finally moved out and moved away for only about a year and a half. We really missed them so we moved back with them until my mom got a job and a house. My male cousin is about 50. He always would joke around about sex. But i thought he was really joking. it went on for a while and hed always just give me a slap on the but. Things like that. Time went by and recently he and I were at my house waiting for my mom to get home, and he was acting serious and asking what are you scared of? to have sex? or are you scared of me? (in my head i was saying none of your dam business) and i said im not scared of anything but I am scared of him!!

I love him as family. He always says oh you don't love me. why don't you love me. I say I do love you, I love you as family. So he says yeah but only that. ( i would never get with him like that NEVER) but anyways at my house he kept wanting me to face him and hold my hands and get closer to him. That was the first time I felt really uncomfortable. He wanted me to kiss him and I was afraid. i'm still afraid. but he would leave and I am to scared to tell him to quit touching me and i will never do anything with you!! i'm to scared to stick up for myself because he will get all but hurt and it will cause problems. I just dont know what to do. He also grabs my mom inapropriatly!! I hate it when I have to hear my mom say no over and over. its not like hes trying to rape her or anything but he touches us and tells us things that arent right at all. He is also married. 

I have finally talked to my mom about it and shes sick of it too. But every time i go to the shower i think of him and i dont want to! I think of how i dont like it when he does this. I dont like him driving me home alone anything cuz he always asks why wont you have sex with me? and I say cuz i dont want to. And he says, I think you are just scared. Aunestly I really and truley dont want do have sex with him, I dont want him to touch me anymore and i dont want him acting seriouse and telling me how much hed love to cheat on his wife with me. He has the nerve to tell me that he thinks of me when he has sex with her. I want to cry so bad I want to die inside I dont want to feel like this and i dont know what to do.

ttkzrider18 ttkzrider18
18-21
1 Response Mar 11, 2010

What do I do? Any advice?