I Think God Saved Me.

I was so messed up. I used to starve myself, make myself throw up, cut myself, do terrible things... I was even suicidal for a spell. God never came to my rescue, no matter how many times I asked Him. I suffered for three long years, and now I'm better. I still credit God. We haven't spoken in about a month, and though He didn't help me before I think that in the end He saved me. Why, I'm not sure.

I got better in month x (hee hee, just in case anyone I know reads this. I need as few clues as possible.) The very next month, month y, I witnessed something horrible, something that no person should ever have to see. If I hadn't been saved, I likely would have killed myself as a result of what I saw. As it was, I'm still scarred by what happened that day. Every time I hear a fire engine or an ambulance's siren I fight back tears, and whenever New England or Charice* is mentioned, I feel the need to go off and cry. And often I do. How much worse off would I be if I hadn't been saved? And maybe that's why I credit God. I don't know.

But I am so glad I'm better. And I haven't cut myself in about 4 and a half months.


*name changed

lwys lwys
Feb 9, 2010