Im Bi Polar and Proud of It
When i was finally diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder, i had practically lived my whole life up to that point with fits and outbursts of rage, depression, and my fave symptom elation. There was nothing like the elation i would experience. It was being absolutely happy for no reason and nothing could get me down.
But the downside to being Bi Polar was the extreme depression (which i didnt really get a lot of, but enough of it to know i hated it) and extreme rage. My rage would appear mostly in the form of a defence mechanism. I would only experience it when others would try to hurt me either by words or actions, or when in defense of my little sister. I cant count the people ive overly hurt because my rage would become so great. I can say that i have never lost a fight, but when i think of some of the people i have hurt, it pains me, sometimes. When my Bi Polar symtoms are in check, i am usually a peaceful person.
After i was diagnosed, and told my family and friends, i lost most of my friends - more like all but 2, and even some of my family didnt want to see me anymore. I actually became ashamed of being Bi Polar. Go figure. People treated me like i was a leper.
But now, i see Bi Polar in me as a strength. Surely that rage still comes out when i feel threatened. I even get a kick out of how some people would try to "take me there" and would actually be surprised that it was i who was "taking them there". Most people see me as a "goody two shoes", lol. Its okay. Besides, growing up Bi Polar really saved me as a kid (in every school and every grade i would go to, i was always the smallest and youngest student - the perfect type for bullies, but those bullies always got my rage shoved directly down their throats).
Although i dont have a lot of people in my life, i do have quite a few family members and a couple friends who care for me and support me. Bi Polar isnt the worse thing in the world to be, it's not like im a murderer or a biggot.
But the reason i am proud of being Bi Polar, is that it makes me a better skip tracer than i would be if i wasnt Bi Polar. Being Bi Polar keeps me thinking outside of the box. It helps me be just a little more intune with my surroundings also. Because of being Bi Polar, ive learned so many things and have been to so many different places. Normal S wouldnt just get up and go, but Bi Polar Simmone would always try new things. I took so many different classes from the University of Life. I love being me and since apart of me is being Bi Polar, i love that part of me too.