So Curious :)

Moreover, not up until recently I didn't even know that there's such thing as bi-curious. Go figure...
But anyways,  starting from around 15 years old I started noticing that I'm not only paying attention to boys around me, but also girls. There was this one girl in parallel class, she didn't wear makeup and had her hair short so if you didn't know her, you'd be confused whether its a boy or a girl. But I knew her. She was blonde, with green eyes if I remember. First time I saw her I thought - wow! she's soo nice and really like her... and it didn't feel like "hi, my name's Blahblah, I like your hair, lets be friends" thing. I realized that I really liked her, I felt butterflies in my stomach when thinking of her. But back then it was 'bad' to talk about such stuff, I even vaguely understood what "gay" was and honestly thought that it only happens to men... So I didn't understand what I was feeling and was very confused about it. She left our school in couple of months after I first "noticed" her and I was sad, and angry that I didn't have a picture of her for myself...
So from that time on I do notice women around me and even 'check out' the ones I like, but without them noticing...
I also fantasize what it may be like touching, kissing a woman, but it doesn't go further than that. 
Couple of months back a good friend of mine asked if i'd like to try make love to a girl, meaning her. Though I really want to try at least once to be with a woman, I'm not attracted to my friend in this way at all, she's not my type and just a very good friend. I told her that I thought I wanted that experience (we talked about it some time before her proposition), I realized that I like to watch and it turns me on, but don't want to try. Yes, I lied to her, but I think its better than to tell her I'm not attracted to her in this way. Though she is very nice looking and takes care of herself well, she has serious issues with her appearance, very self-conscious, so I didn't want to add oil to the fire...
The bottom line is, I keep my eyes open and when the opportunity presents itself, i'll act on this desire of mine :)
SunnySmile SunnySmile
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 11, 2010

Highly intriguing. Any updates on that experience since 2010?

unfortunately no. still yet to come across the opportunity and the right person to do it. as soon as it presents itself, i'll definitely act on it!

Thanks :)