Unfortunately, I Came Out.

Hi, I'm Joana, and I'm Bi.
I fell deeply in love with a girl on the same course as me. This was almost 3 years ago, but I wasn't conscious of it until this April.
She noticed that earlier than me, but never said anything, as she doesn't feel the same for me and had a girlfriend at the time. Enough of introductions...

That day in April, the thought "I'm a Bisexual." didn't leave my head. How would my family react to that. What would my father say if he was still alive? My mother would never accept it, because she's a homophobic, such as my brother-in-law and my younger brother. My older sister, my biggest support in everything, said once "If any of you were gay or bi,  would accept you, of course, but I'd be sad. Not because of what you are, but because of what you must struggle with society."

This wouldn't leave my head for months. I looked for support and opinions online, and found a group that gave me the incentive I needed to come out. I was feeling proud, powerful and glad for opening myself. Beginning with my sister.

I told her during a conversation online. She had the strangest reaction. She first acted as she already knew, but then told me to "forget girls. Just hang out with boys instead!" It's not something I can choose! This left me sad, but it came to worse. In a conversation between the two of us and our mother, my sister spilled out "Hey, and you know what? Joana's a bisexual." I was left with no reaction. I didn't say I am, but didn't deny it either.

Ever since, my mother acts strangely whenever we talk. My sister has said nothing about it. My younger brother doesn't believe me, and my brother-in-law doesn't even know.

I'm restless. I feel like I'm getting separated from my family because of this. I can't sleep properly, I can't have a conversation with them, and this is getting in my nerves!
Joanalollypop Joanalollypop
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

I completely understand what you're going through. I told my mom that I was bi when I was 17 and she didn't take me seriously and got upset. I recently had to tell her again and she was more accepting. I guess because she knew that it wasn't just a phase. I am scared to tell the rest of my family because they're all very set in their deep southern beliefs. But I know I will have to someday. Just know that it won't kill you... they may be upset at first but they're still your family. I wish you the best of luck and all the courage in the world!! :)

you are in a very bad situation here..<br />
the answer is there, you just gotta find it.<br />
live on and see how it goes and i know exactly how you feel cause i once in your situation.