I Need Help, I Need To Talk To Someone

I am 24, I'm a man and I just figured out that I'm bi. I suppose I've always been a little curious, at least sort of. I was never attracted to men per-say but I had an infatuation with the male to female portion of the trans community and I always kinda despised myself for it. Yet I couldn't help it and eventually it lead me to those shady dating/sex sites.Which, long story short, led to a connection.
Now this didn't turn exactly as I thought because the trans-woman I thought I was meeting turned out to be more like a crossdresser with even more issues then me, but as she began to kiss me, I found that I didn't care. In fact I liked it and I liked everything else we did and without going into too much detail I will say that we did, everything...
Now you have to understand that I have lived my entire up until this point as a perfectly straight male. More than straight even. I'm the manliest man I know, literally. I'm 6', 190lbs slim and strong, a craftsman, a builder. That's the person my friends and family know me to be, that's who I know me to be! I truly didn't know I had this in me and I don't know what to do about it now that I know it's there. I thought maybe if I just did it then I could get it out of my system. Like it was just some sort of perverse lust but I loved it and I want more. I feel like it sated some inexplicable need that straight sex could never hope to satisfy. So please, I beg of you, please talk to me, anyone. If you've been through anything like this, if you've ever felt the same way or had this same devastating inner turmoil, please god talk to me!
SmthnWrgWthME SmthnWrgWthME
22-25, M
2 Responses Dec 7, 2012

By the way. I can't friend you do to you filters. Go to your profile and check it out. After all not all the defaults fit us or we would not be bi.

Wow... Depending on how you were raised, it can be very hard finding these feelings that don't make sense. You always thought normal people never had them. Well normal people do! You are trying to become an adult. My definition of an adult is someone who has become, or is at least working on becoming what he or she wants to be. Not what your parents or your grandpa or whoever tried to make you.

Well you have suddenly found out you are bi. Congratulations! You are on your way.

Life isn't easy. Sometime you make mistakes. Don't worry too much about them. Learn and move on. If you don't make any mistakes you are not trying hard enough.

Good luck.