Finally Free But Still In The Closet

So I have been having gender identity issues my whole life but wasnt sure what it meant. Then I met my wonderful boyfriend who is a transguy. I started wondering if maybe that was my case too. but even that felt wrong because some days I felt like wearing skirts and putting on makeup. I didn't know bigender was a thing, I thought maybe I just was a tomboy. but then I got so uncomfortable with myself that I did some research. I found out about being bigender and it was like something just clicked. I remember sitting in front of my computer thinking "oh my god... I finally know what I am" it was so freeing and like nothing I've ever felt. Although I am still in the closet because i'm not sure how my friends and family are going to react I feel more free than I have ever been in my life. I am biologically a woman by the name of stephanie but some days I am a boy named Niko, or Nick. Currently my boyfriend is the only one who knows and is completely supportive of me.
stephaniko stephaniko
4 Responses Feb 8, 2012

Same feeling here.
I'm bigendered too and a biological female.
I was so relieved when i found out, I'm bigendered and not a case for the freak show.
I allready told my friends about it. Unfortunately, they're just thinking, I'm crazy :/
But i don't need to care. I hope, your coming-out will go/went well :D

I like your nickname. It suits you!
I'm bigendered by the way. I'm not a tomboy but I'm not comfortable wearing dresses anymore.

I also know what your going through while in my case i'm biologically male for most of my life<br />
i have always felt the dsire to able apear ladylike to the world and tobe treated ladylike<br />
by those around me and there will be times in i can be happy and content going about my life<br />
being a boy from just wearing old pair of jeans and T-shirt and sneakers and ride dirt bikes.<br />
and then as a girl i always wanted to be able to play the female roles in plays and be the homecomming queen.<br />
And i never truly want totally one gender or the other i just wanted to be both.<br />
i will share of my story later

I know that exact feeling. I've been going through a tough time trying to figure out gender identities (I thought for a while I might have been androgynous) and then on wikipedia I found the page about bigender I was thinking: "" you're so lucky to have a supportive boyfriend, especially a transguy, since he must kind of understand how you feel.