Can Someone Find The 'off' Switch, Please?!

I swear, I switch back and forth between sides so much lately that I just want to scream. Tonight alone I'm going from being uber girly to completely masculine. It's driving me insane!!!
manniesue manniesue
22-25, T
5 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Just slow down and relax.

I understand that being crazy making because I go through it also.
I took a class in college on Human Sexuality and our professor lectured on how bi's are more evolved than other's sexuality. She showed us a spectrum of 100% being straight at one end, 100% being gay on the other end, and bi's being in the middle. She said bi's are more evolved because their more developed, being open to choices. It's actually respectfully more extensive than that, but that's the basis of it. I do like to chose which characteristics I have being in whatever the situation is. What bothers me the most is how I naturally balance out a relationship concerning gender roles. I would rather be with someone who is also bi and not work so hard to bring my true self out at the moment of want or need.

I'm not bisexual. This has nothing to do with sexuality. This has to do with gender identity. Not roles, or what gender we're attracted to. It's about what we as humans identify as, gender wise. Not sexual preferences.

My apology for assuming otherwise.
Thanks for clarifying it.

Here Warrior: This is from

"A Bigender person is a person who feels that their gender is fully male and fully female, or any pair of genders, generally by switching between the two. For some people, the switch is between two very distinct genders, which some consider to be separate "facets" or "personas". For others, the switch is much more fluid, with more grey area.

Transitioning is a difficult idea for many bigenders. Because they have both a male and female gender, assuming they aren't intersexed, then when they're in the gender that matches their body they're as happy with their body as a Cisgender person, but when they're in the gender that doesn't match their body they feel the same dysphoria and need to transition that most Transgender people feel. It's not currently possible to create a body that changes from male to female at will, so it can be difficult for a bigender person to achieve a presentation or body that allows them to be comfortable in both genders. "

I am a lesbian and I identify as bigender. I have a masculine and a femme side. But I live the majority of my life in my masculine form. But I do switch back and forth involuntarily.

It's not necessarily the activity that's the problem. It's just me. And when I flip sides, the other side general doesn't have needs to be taken into consideration.

One minute I'm fine and comfortable in my own skin, the next I'm not. I have too much going on right now to deal with constant flipping back and forth.

I am a just realized Begender, I had repressed it along with other painful memories, so switching is kinda new to me I guess because my male side mistreated my female side, they just get along now.

And just because that side isn't active, you have to realize it's still your brain, and those signals still go through that part, and it might have a problem which is why it's forcing it's way up, and you want to be you so you swap back.

Just an opinion, I have no clue if that is the way it is for you. But for me since, I did repress my main personality I know it can be hurt by the things, the other one does.

I've never repressed either side, I just never had a name for it. I've always been outwardly boyish since birth. I started resenting the girly stuff that was pushed on me simply because I was born with a vagina. I have no problem showing that side, but I'm more comfortable with the male side, which is how I live the majority of the time. I always flip back and forth, but lately I've been super stressed and in a ton of pain due to health issues.. so it's no surprise that I'm constantly switching. It's just annoying.

I let both sides come out when they need to. So that's not the case here. It's just a matter of me having too much on my plate as it is, and then adding this just confuses myself and everyone around me.

It's helpful for me, I always wanted to do the girl stuff with the girls because I related better to them, when I could get away with it, before "adults" would say that's girl stuff go play with the boys.

My male persona as a man is just a protector, I live with both on but it's kinda like a safety blanket, where it just steps up and lets the female voice, I have speak without fear. I know I'm a man and the things I think and feel emotionally are definitely female. But I too enjoy male activities, but only with friends that I feel I can trust. What would normally be called a really nice guy, by other women.

Thank you for taking the time to explain in more detail, I know it's hard, but I appreciate it very much.

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Is the activity you are doing enjoyable for both your sides? Or is one sides needs not feeling like it's being taken into consideration?

I'm having the same problem arghhhhh