Day 22-27 Of Lithium

It should be just about a month of my being on lithium but because I haven't been completely consistent with taking my medication (naughty!) I'm going to give it another week and then assess. I'm feeling quite unmotivated at the moment to be honest. Numb I guess. Not sad but not jumping out of bed and moving fluidly through life. For me, everything takes so long and is so arduous. It's like everyone else is in fast forward, their steps, their brain activity, their life and I am in slow motion. I just can't seem to get excited about anything, and goals seem pointless because I don't have the consistency of drive and mood to carry them out. I'm really struggling with the thought of whether change is possible. I despise that I am lazy and unenthused by life but maybe that is something I can't change. I don't know, I just feel like such a loser- I was born a loser and that is my curse, my destiny, my eternal burden. Damn! All I want is to be free....
muffintop muffintop
22-25, F
Sep 11, 2012