Bipolar Is The Story Of My Life

I was diagnosed as clinically depressed for 30 years, and 5 years ago was diagnosed as bipolar when the doctor finally saw me on a high. It is hard to take medications, get cleaned up, reach out to new people, so most of my life is spent alone in my apartment. My computer is my best friend. I can find temporary interests and dive in with obsessive energy, but after a short time, I lose interest and sink into the well of depression until another interest emerges. I am lonely and want to have a meaningful relationship, but I can't seem to find the way to one. I guess I should try to find a meaningful relationship with myself, but I don't know how.
RecLucy RecLucy
61-65, F
8 Responses Jan 8, 2013

Thank you for sharing your story. We all appreciate it. It's amazing how crippling this disease is. The hopelessness is unbearable at times. Sometimes I'm great and when it's bad... I'm in bed and I Stay in bed and retreat from the world. Just my bed, tv, and computer. Pjs all day.
I am not currently on meds but I beeline I should be. Thank you for being here and sharing.

Hello Singer. I have been away from the experience project for awhile (climbed into myself and am now climbing back out). Much that had been bothering me a few months ago has been ironed out and things are on an even keel. Hope you get the comfort and emotional release from this site that I have over the years.

Thank you for that. And that is awesome that some of your issues have been worked out and you are now on some level footing. Thank God for that.
I am hoping and praying to be in that same spot. I am keeping my hope and faith up.
Thank you for responding back

I have depression that is presently under control with the grace of the Lord. A friend of mine also suffers from bipolar disorder, so I have SOME idea of what you're going through. I prayed for you. Hang in there.

hey have not heard from u in such a long time but I do understand where u are coming from hope things are going better message me so we can talk....

I don't do many messages here (haven't figured out that yet). I am in survival mode, kinda numb emotionally. My cat is out of food (last used this morning) so I guess I will have to pull myself up by the bootstraps and face the world today. Not looking forward to it, but know it needs to be done. Hope you are doing ok.

Your story is my story. You are not alone. I've had depression since a teen and have been diagnosed bipolar three years ago. I understand about the interests going and coming and the difficulty getting ready and leaving to go out. Your not alone, I am there too.

Thank you for your comment. This site really helps me to not feel alone. I went back on my prozac 2 weeks ago. I don't see much difference yet, but I realize it takes time.

JUST IN.....Scientists have found a Genetic link between Bipolar and 4 other Neurological Disorders.I prefer that term over Mental Illness as I worked in the field with the Mentally Handicapped who were once Idiots,Morons and Retards.

Back to Science and this is how fast we are moving to a Bipolar cure...

As of 2013 … 20 of the most dangerous types of Cancer can be cured (this is no joke). The cost is high … the availability is low … and the process can take weeks … but there are now computer programs that runs on a super-computer that can break the code for the specific cancer cells in a person’s body … and an anti-cancer antidote can be created for that person. The antidote is attached to a virus and the virus attacks the cancer cells. It is a complete cure for that person … and the cancer is gone.

That kind of thing was a pipe dream only a few years ago. And the only thing keeping it from being widely available is lack of research funds needed to make it a fast, low cost solution. The real problem is that availability of the super-computer needed to solve these problems

Well here is something to think about.

By 2020 it may be possible to purchase the equivalent of today’s super-computer for as little as $1000. A lot of diseases and disorders may not even make it to 2020 because this computing power is coming on line faster and faster (and getting cheaper and cheaper).

By 2030 it should be possible to purchase a computer that is billions of times more powerful than today’s super-computer … for as little as $1000. What kind of disease or disorder is going to be able to stand up against that … and that doesn’t even take into account the fact that that there will be ultra-super-computer that are 10’s of thousands of times even more powerful that these $1000 home units.

Better still … the computers in the future will have the ability to think about the problems that need to be solved. They will be super-specialist problem solvers. In a matter of moments they could think through a problem solving chain that would take a person a whole lifetime.

As you can see … I have some pretty high hopes for the future.

Hey, when I was reading your story I felt as I was reading something of my own..I know just how you feel and believe you and me it is so hard....if there is anything I can do please message me I know I have not been on much but know I am back so if u feel u need to talk please do I am here....

Thank you for your offer of support. Right now I am doing fine. I find that helping others is the only thing that pulls me off my personal "pitty pot". The offer for support is returned by me.


This www.UNITY.ORG is just a bunch of religious idiots.She doesn't need mind control or a cult because she feels alone.

It doesn't take long before this organization is asking for your VISA CARD like every other religion.

She needs a REAL relationship with someone that cares about her.Someone like my partner that accepts me with my Bipolar.

Are you on Lithium Salt or another mood stabalizer ?

I was 20 years on anti depressants "Elavil " and my doctor would ask me why I spoke so fast ? Duh

Diagnosed 15 months ago Bipolar age 52.

I'm on Risperidone. I was on Lithum for awhile, but it didn't agree with me physically

I wish you the very best with your Bipolar.

I also wish the best in your seeking of friendship,love or romance.

Bipolar people are very smart and creative and I have talked to many people that found the right partner.That person needs to be sensitive,intelligent and empathic.

People that play games with us don't fool us for very they ?

I don't know about others, but people fool me as long as I let them. That can range from 30 minutes to 30 years. But when I'm done, I'm TOTALLY done. All or nothing, isn't that part of the illness?

when I'm done, I'm TOTALLY done. All or nothing, isn't that part of the illness?

I always thought it was just my personality but I am that same way too.I am in 100 % or out 100% in a relationship.

Thanks for teaching me something that I didn't realize.

PLEASE tell me more about Bipolar because I was 20 years Depression and then Mania and Bipolar like you.I went to look at the Depression symtoms and Mania symtoms from the " MAYO CLINIC " web site.

I am far from an expert. I went off my prozac about 6 months ago (self decision) and it doesn't seem to make a difference. Of course, there aren't any people close enough to me to tell whether or not I need to go back on. I am not in any regular therapy at this time, but am considering asking my doctor if there is a group that I would benefit from. I am emotionally isolated from people in real life. Thank heavens for my computer and the internet.

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