i wish i wasnt the way that i am. life would be so much easier. i wouldnt flip out on someone for no apparent reason and eventually have them get tired of me freaking out on them that they end our relationship. i wouldnt wake up depressed for no reason at all or start crying for no reason at all. i wouldnt get in trouble at work for missing days for being in the hospital for trying to kill myself. i mean im a christian but i dont understand why god is doing this to people. this is like some sick joke for him. i think if i wasnt this way id have more than one friend. id get that promotion at work. id be in a healthy relationship. why do these things happen to people who dont deserve it? i just want it all to go away and i want to live a happy normal life.