Not As Glamorous As You Might Think

For me, the most frightening thing about Manic Depression (Bipolar Disorder) is that your mind turns from friend to (potential) enemy.  Most people never question their own sanity; they simply go about their lives relying completely on their minds to make wise choices and decisions for them.  In Mania and Clinical Depression you cease to be rational (although you think you are) and instinctive, involuntary behavior takes over.  Mania and Clinical Depression can drive you to bizarre extremes, destructive and frightening.  After you've visited these nether-regions a few times, you lose that unqualified faith in your mind's ability to always do the right thing.  You check yourself a lot.  You ask questions like - Am I too happy?  Am I going off?  It is possible to live a wonderful, happy, and fulfilled life as a Bipolar bear.  But you never again have the 100% comfort of believing that your mind is always trustworthy.  You have to be vigilant - and protect your sanity.  Your sanity becomes very precious.    
ElLagarto ElLagarto
56-60, M
8 Responses Aug 3, 2007

Wow. That's me put into words. I feel my mind has a will of its own, and I have little control over it. Stress gets the ball rolling, and anything is a stress factor for me.

For me, writing is indistinguishable from breathing. -- I just like it when people whose opinions I value notice that I'm halfway good at it. -- In this sense I am not fully self-actualized, because the option of others can still influence me.

You are flattering me where I am weakest, thereby creating a friend for life.

Thank you Intrepid. Pain is a strict, but effective Headmistress, I come by my understanding honestly.

As Stevie Wonder said, "Where were you when I needed you, last summer?"

Thanks for this post El<br />
<br />
My sanity tends to wander off and leave me when I need it most........

((((you))))

One of the nice things is that Bipolar Disorder is totally treatable. It's chronic - there's no cure - but treatment is readily available. The most popular medicine is Lithium - which isn't actually a medication at all - it's an organic compound - a type of salt. Depakote - an anti-seizure medication - is also used frequently, as are many others. An ideal treatment combines medication and talk therapy.