It Gets Overwhelming From Time To Time.....

it is the hardest thing ever to live with this condition. no one undertands what you´re going through (if you don´t know why you´re doing things and feeling things most of the time, how can others?).. both my parents were bipolar, creative, artistic and mad, depressive, manic. i just thought it was because of their excentric personalities, but i know better now. i recognize the symptoms.
i take a medication and it works beautifully - problem is it affects my memory and i´ve always been incredibly smart.. i begin to see the difference, i cán´t remember a lot of things, i can´t memorize stuff, its hard. but if i dont take it i get agressive and depressive. i won´t leave the house in months, gain weight (and since i´m compulsive/impulsive i can gain 20lbs in a couple weeks!), turn reclusive.. its a mess! i´m afraid i´ll run out of money and won´t have access to doctors/medication.. well, i worry a lot which makes me even sadder and feeling hopeless....
i´m from South America wanting to move to the States but i´m pretty sure its a bad idea considering i wont have any access to doctors there until i´m legal.... anyway, just venting.
sweetheart00 sweetheart00
31-35, F
Jun 14, 2012