Will I Always Be Alone?

i've been off meds for over a year now. i stopped on my own, and didn't look back. i felt fine. thought i was handling things great. then i started dating this guy. i'm crazy about him. but my anxiety went through the roof. i had a couple of mixed episode days. i vaguely started looking for a therapist again. i broke up with him... i'm crazy about him but can't convince myself that he likes me. even when he says, 'i like you a lot.' but i can't force my issues on him. so i broke up with him and broke my own heart. still... not going back to the meds. i can do this... right? now let's see if i can get him back too... we still talk every day...
windshine windshine
31-35, F
3 Responses Dec 6, 2012

No, you won't. My advice is; try dating someone who is not bipolar. My wife has OCD (well, me too) and we get along fine. We have ups and downs. The key is opposites attract but like also attracts like. Dating a bipolar for us is too difficult, however.

two questions. why is the relationship a trigger and why don't you want to go back on meds?

be careful while you are off the meds, avoid triggers. Don't want to down you bu I lasted quite a while without meds before briefly relapsing.

that's my point (clearly not well shared)... the relationship is a trigger. so do i avoid it to avoid the trigger or do i stay to avoid... being alone forever.