No Help And Exams Looming

I'm 17 and are being 'tested' for bipolar at the moment however, it hasn't been a short process. For 2 years I have been trying to get someone to listen to me, been with Camhsbwitj relatively no hope. Recently I have been on a downer with many suicidal thoughts and self harming. Im scared I will do something I cannot go back on and when I tell them this they tell me to do more 'actvities' etc. I understand a healthy lifestyle can benefit and improve symptoms but with no medication I fear for my life. I don't want to die but sometimes I do and I don't want it to beat me. Has anyone else had a hard time getting people to listen? Another common aspect is 'teenage' syndrome in which they ask if Im just feeling normal teenage things. I have delusions and hilucinatons where I have thought someone was strangling me and spiders crawled on me. Im so scared I have already quit my job and my attendance at college is awful. I just want help but can't seem to get it. Any advice would be really appreciated thank you x.
Smirkingrev Smirkingrev
2 Responses Jan 5, 2013

I admire your tenacity and hope. Sometimes it takes a while for the people you love to see that its serious.

You need to find people who will support you, and have a conversation with your parents about what sort of advice is useful. Fish oil isn't a cure, and if meds would help, suggesting relying on fish oil is counterproductive.

Also putting a plan in place, preferably in writing, about what you need to do first, if you feel like hurting yourself (call your aunt,

A family friend once said about his aunt, who I think had schizophrenia that "she told the best stories". And for him as a child, the stories of horses running through the living room, were just that, stories. And they were an asset, rather than a liability. And he said it all so offhandedly, as if the conversation we were having about his aunt were perfectly natural and that there was nothing at all remarkable, and no intent to reassure me after my similar experiences. I was grateful.

At any rate I hope life has evened out a bit, as it's been a while since you posted this question. Sometimes you just have to get through an experience to learn from it, and to try, and try, and feel like you're not succeeding, and gradually life makes more sense, or at least it has for me.

And if you are at college, make it a priority to eat with people, so that you can build a support network, and prioritize sleep over just about everything else.

Oh and drugs are out of the question, and alcohol is probably as well. ( but you knew this, right?)

Best of luck. You recognize that there is a problem, and seem to be doing every thing you can to respond. College is hard for every one, and I'm guessing the ones that had it easy may have learned a lot in class, but didn't learn as much about themselves, and what they are capable of.

Keep well!


Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with hallucinations, I've had them too. I've found the meds help, I think its the antipsychotics that take away all of the bad symptoms. Don't be afraid to discuss your concerns about meds with your doctor if you have any concerns. Many people get a lot of help from the meds, myself included, especially when manic.