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I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they really don’t know what to say to me and they hardly want to be around me.  I’m still the same person.  I have explained to them over and over that I will still have episodes and the pills are not a “Magic Cure” for bipolar disorder, they just lessen the frequency and severity of my episodes.
        Now I still get angry, sad or just have a “blah” day, but that’s normal I’m still a human being.  My family seems to think that it’s always because of the bipolar disorder and will frequently ask, “Are you taking your meds like you’re supposed to?” or “Do you need to see your doctor?”  So, I guess I’m not allowed to express any kind of negative emotion without them wanting me locked in a mental institution.  I told them that people with bipolar disorder lead normal lives.  I've put myself through college and I'm currently earning my Masters degree in Health care Administration, all while battling Bipolar Disorder, so I'm living proof that I can have a normal life.
ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 149 Responses Jun 6, 2010

Your Response


I don't know if you know this but mental illness is not real. There's no such thing as mental illness. Psychiatry has a terrible history and all they do currently is gives pills from pharma or put you in a psch ward. Pharma also has a bad reputation, especially with psychotropic drugs. Do some research. Stop letting yourself be labeled as "mentally ill" and "bipolar". Unlike in real medical work, in psychiatry there is no physical test for any mental illness. Instead, you are given a diagnosis based on certain behaviors. You might have been told you have a chemical imbalance. This is a myth; the chemical imbalance theory has never been proven, but it is still used today. There's several free documentaries that show the truth of psychiatry and pharma. The "illnesses" are simply invented and voted into the DSM book. Homosexuality used to be in the DSM as a mental illness but has since been voted out. Stop letting the system take advantage of you; there's nothing physically wrong with you.

I'm sorry, but if you are saying that bipolar and the rest of the mental illnesses aren't real, then what is your theory for why feel and act this way? And how come these treatments are in some cases so effective, if the problem is not a physical one, and the pills were designed to cure a physical issue? I hope you weren't saying that bipolar and the rest are just imaginary.

Damn, where or how did the word Killer get into the title??? I thought you sounded composed when we spoke last. What has happened since then. Maybe there was a comment that I did not see in an earlier message (?). So doll what is up?

my best to you - oxtogen

What??????? Huh????? The word Killer has been in the title since I wrote it 3 years ago. I assure you I am quite composed.

Since then I have earned my masters degree in health care administration and I am currently in my last year of the Doctoral program in Health Care Administration.

So I would say I am well.

Thanks for your concern though.

Feeling the same way today. iI made a mistake at work and got chastised (I know what I did wrong), but it upset me like many bipolar a, I'm a perfectionist). But I'm afraid to talk about it to the boyfriend because I'm afraid hell think this means I'm having an episode. Although to some extent I am -- since I started meds a few months ago, I cycle like mad (not enough to jump out of a window or buy the Brooklyn Bridge, but enough to really feel it).

I learned to let my loved ones, who really cared about me, help me. I learned to trust them and let them in, that's what really helped me. I knew I wasn't alone in this battle.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar about a year ago, but had been living with depression and similar symptoms since childhood. In that year my life completely disintegrated and I lost my job, my home, lifestyle, friends, and faith and confidence in myself. Been through a few different medications and it seems like it's all too much for me. I'm scared of becoming a statistic.<br />
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I understand completely about feeling like you have to walk a tight line when expressing your feelings to other people. Sometimes it's too real for them.<br />
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I don't know you but I'm proud you've come so far.

Thank you. I went down a long hard road before I got to where I am right now. I still struggles at times with depression and mood swings. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Good luck to you.

You are very fortunate to have your family interactive and caring. Good for you.

my best to you octogen

I have been feeling this too! I am in the process of adjusting my medication and it has just made me realize how much I have been softening the blow for everyone...not saying exactly how I feel, and really just pretending to make life easier for them. I hope I don\'t have to do that if half as much when they are done adjusting it.

I was diagnosed with bipolar about 2 years ago, I find it very difficult to cope when im in a depressive state and even when i'm manic state even with my meds seroquel 600 mg ,i would appreciate if you could tell me some of your coping mechanisms,and what meds you are working for you

I have come to recognize when I am having and episode and try to separate myself from it. That and talking to someone seems to help me....not talking about me or my emotions but focusing on doesn\'t always make the feelings go away, but it distracts me.

I am a pastor and I suffer from bipolar and epilepsy. For many years the medicine was not available here for me.People are frightened that you will become a killer. They do not know how to deal with us so they leave. We do not need friends like that. However, when our medications are adjusted properly there are no problems really.

I am sorry that you do not feel that I am a good pastor. There are people in our lives that hurt us, abuse and bully us. We do not need those kind of people in our lives. But God uses them and us to help us grow. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I thank you for your concern.

I completely understand what that's like.<br />
I'm going through it myself.

I am involved with a man who is bypolar and I didn't know anything about it and the first time he changed into that other person I was so upset and thought; how can he talk to me like that? Then in a day he was apologizing. I think sometimes the people who are bypolar forget how difficult it is for their girlfriends or others to deal with this. I was even warned about it and I still got upset when it happened, he was saying mean things that didn't even sound like something he would ever say and then it was over with and back to normal. He really is a nice man otherwise and I wrestled with staying with him and dealing with it. Friends said run! But I am a very loving and patient woman and it isn't his fault so I have decided to stay and give it a go. People have bad reactions to other with serious illness.<br />
Life is tough but if you don't take a chance sometimes you will never know what you missed.

I admire your courage because I know I am not easy to live with. Most of the time these things happen they are in a moments timing. But much of the time the damage is already done and we have no idea what we have said or even done. Oh by the way may I add you in my circle?

Turns out we broke up. Not because of the bypolar but because he kept another illness from me and I just couldn't live with it and he always seemed so angry until one day I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I wished him well but I was more upset than happy in the relationship and didn't want to live with so much anger.

You should not have to live with so much anger.I know I get angry sometimes. I really don't try to take it out on others. I do not keep many things from my wife.

Yes, there was something off about him. He like turned into another person and lashed out at me and I don't think bypolar people lose their whole identity, just want to be left alone. I found out about his bypolar on this site and then after we started planning buying a house after his divorce he tells me he's dying of cancer. Not a good sign for a woman who is already leaving a man because of his secrets and lies.

We may realize more than you think. The hardest thing for me about having this is knowing how much it hurts the people that love much it hurt my parents when I cried myself to sleep and not being able to stop crying....not being able to make it go away....not being able to control my behavior and feeling trapped and trying so so hard....that is what hurts the most for me. My dad said he is scared for husband said he was terrified when I tried to go off my medicine so we could get pregnant, and I hid in the closet and screamed for half an hour. I never wanted to hurt anyone....and there is no way not to, they will hurt if you live, they will hurt if you kill yourself. As long as they love and care about you they will have to deal with what you have.....but that is true with any serious illness....But medicine can help...

2 More Responses

I'm not bipolar, but depression runs in my family. I take pills for major depression... and certainly know how it feels like to have family / friends freak out when I show any negative emotions. I don't think I handle it quite right being I tend to act happy all the time around everyone just so people don't freak out at me. Honestly, I only act negative around my closest friends and boyfriend. And the holding back does tend to make me express more negativity around them occasionally when I'm overwhelmed or anything. I can't make friends with a lot of people though, cause once they hear I'm a "downer" they don't want the negativity around them. <br />
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I actually have family friends who the daughters both have Bipolar Disorder. I've been friends with them since we were little, and I've certainly seen the negative effects in their life from society. Congrats to you for managing your illness and achieving your personal goals though!! <3

Thank you

Your welcome :)

I understand completely !<br />
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I had to rake the attitude " ...if they were not family, they wouldn't even be my friends ! "<br />
So, when I turned 50 I had enough courage to *divorce them* and life and my health have improved <br />
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Good luck

A good friend of mine (whom I met in a Psychiatric ward of a hospitals) told me something that I will probably never forget. She said, "No one understands like your mental friends." It true. I can call up my friends who have dealt with bipolar disorder and depression, tell them I'm just having a **** day.... and they will know what to say and wont immediately assume there is something wrong with my meds or that I'm contemplating suicide.<br />
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Kudos to you on your scholastic accomplishments! I dropped out of college and now that I am feeling more stable can't wait to get back at it myself. It is most definitely hard to manage this illness and do well in school. I feel a congratulations is in order!

Thank you very very much sir and Good luck to you.

I also am bi-polar and get the same questions, but accept them as a sign of love and not fear. Your choice of "ImNoGood" as a Profile name says more than your posting about how people would feel about you.

I'd welcome any real genuine concern, but it's usually done as an insult or a joke at my expense. And that's ImNotGood.

my son, now 24 is severely bi polar. His mom always blames everything on it and I'm the idiot that tells her that "hey" I have a bad day and I'm not bi polar. I see where you are coming from for sure. Thinking a Bi Polar person is a slave to the condition enslaves them and/or makes others think the Bi Polar person is limited to only so much life success.-I won't have that happen to my son-all good things to you all!-S

I think you really need to sit down and talk to your family and explain it to them and explain how they're comments make you feel! My mum has bipolar and while I didn't understand it when I was younger I don't treat her any differently, she's on medication and it works well for her but regardless of that were allowed to have our up and down moments!

my pills calm me. i have deals with many, ptsd, depression, suicide, social and emotional detachments, abuse. i kept my disorder in silent from many people except only a few knows. i don't tell them, because i cant depends on them to help me deal with what i go through. i find it bothersome and feel like i burden them with my problems. i barely say anything anyway.

I felt like that at first and then I found friends that understood and could comprehend what I was going through. Be yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

I am bipolar as well...and you need to know that when i was happy as hell (obviously a different side of the spectrum) people looked at me as "you're way to happy, you need help" sound as tho you are doing a great job at handling it and you do need to still express your feelings ....them asking "are you on your medications, is a scapegoat for are the only one who truly knows how u feel....keep it up and never remember to never feel as tho your feelings are not worthy or unjustifiable

i meant never forget that your feelings are not worthy or unjustifiable ...wth? so sorry lmfao

ever since i was a kid i was born and diagnose bipolar so i took meds im 32 years old now and they are still trying to find the right ones for me keep ur chin up man my prayers goes out to you...and my family treats me diferent as well

There've been a lot of mental health situations similar to yours in my family too. I feel for you because this sort of thing is soooooooo misunderstood. You're obviously 'just another person'...just one that has excelled in life despite a less than ideal hand being dealt. I really admire you for achieving like you have, bipolar or otherwise. Younger people like me need real rolemodels like you.

Wow thank you. I never considered myself as a role model.

Do what feels good too you as long as your not harming others to get to the top! Don't give a second thought too close minded folks it's not there life too live every moment they waste judgement upon you they lose a choice to live theirs. Be happy with your choices good or bad you'll gain from inner peace. Keep on smiling were all crazy;)

Isnt funny how when we can deal those around us panic. My family insists its all in my head. LOL. It use 2 **** me off but after 5 yrs I let them keep their denial. GOOD LUCK.


I don't live with this problem but I can say this: I respect you for your achievements, and not letting the bipolar disorder get in your way, I think that makes you someone very special and worth looking up to... My hat goes off to you.** hugs**

Thank you very much.

I have Bipolar as well and sounds like you are doing a good job at handling everything, especially with out the support of the family. One thing though that you need to realize is that they will never truly understand what you are going through. Because they don't have to live with it. So stay strong, and hang in there seems like you are doing great

I'm trying my best, it's all any of us can really do.

Very true. As much as I try to explain this to my husband he doesn't really get it. He tries though, and that is all that I can ask for. I know I might sound crazy, but what has actually helped me get through each day is talking to God about. Because if anyone understands its him. He's the one that made us. He knows why we have these problems.

i didnt hear about this disorder before , and right now when i read about it i think that i have the same prob can u plz tell me more about it

People like you are inspiring, I have recently been diagnosed with being bipolar, and I don't quite properly understand it yet, but I have recently been feeling very very low, which makes me question taking my own life.. Hearing that you have lived a normal life whilst going through this helps.<br />
It's a shame that your family don't understand, it must be hard for you to feel trapped, I can relate. I really hope it all works out for you. X

Luckily I had the support of some pretty awesome friends. I hope everything works out for you as well.

I also am bi-polar and when my wife disagrees with me she asks if I'm properly medicated. It is difficult for me to respond to this because often what I want is okay, but wife disagrees for reasons unrelated to my condition. Most of the time the question is out of concern for me. I grew up in Iowa and Minnesota so the stigma of mental illness is not like it is here in the South (South Carolina). If my family repeats the question a few times they understand that they need to take me to the Emergency Room and have a Doctor, or in South Carolina, a Social Worker, determine if I need to be hospitalized.

My family is not concerned for my well being, they just like picking on someone and since I seem to be the black sheep of the family.....all the crap falls on me.

Of course, you can have a normal life! Not only that, you will have a successful life. It sounds like you need to build a support network separate from your family. Have you looked for support groups on campus, or in your community?<br />
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Clearly, your family needs to educate themselves about bipolar disorder. But realistically, you can't force them to learn, nor can you spend all your time and energy trying to educate them. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with supportive people, learn as much as possible about the condition, and continue taking care of yourself. <br />
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Thanks to people like you, I learned a few years ago not to keep asking my husband "Did you take your pill?" "How do you feel?" blah, blah, blah. I learned that I can be more helpful by just listening, and paying attention, and I learned that I can be supportive without treating him like a child or an invalid. Your post is valuable information for a lot of people. I hope that you successfully complete your Masters soon so that you can continue helping others.

I actually graduate in May and I can't wait. I had to complete 2 years of class work and then a yearlong internship to get this degree. Thanks for your encouragement.

I applaud you, a masters is difficult even for someone without bipolar!! <br />
But yeah my comment is, this is something I really dislike about living with bipolar. I am always worried how I will look to other people and whether I am being risky in that they will think I am manic, depressed, or just plain out there, and then EVERYTHING and ANYthing can be blamed on your disorder!! That is so so frustrating and maddening. It's better not to think too much about this. That's all. I know where you are coming from. <br />
Having a degree already is great. Now you have the threat to your I think maybe everyone with bipolar has that. But, your job prospects are better than mine. Yeah not completing my degree at all is part of it(which is partly owing to bipolar) but also, it's really easy to fire you if anyone finds out(they go through your purse for example...). usually they suspect something is worng with me and they assume it's a drug problem, I am some addict or drugged up person...I take medication, but I prefer to be seen as a drug addict instead of someone crazy. I always have to watch what I say and do.<br />
It's pretty hard. You can't please everyone. You can't change someone's mind, it's easy for them to explain complex situations with simple explanations and to use a blanket generalization to blame everything on. <br />
You can't change how someone sees you...<br />
I like to choose my own labels for myself. I pick my box out first so no one can put me in one. Basically, I controlled the person by making them put me in the box I wanted them to lol because I know they judge books by covers and have certain beliefs.

I'm constantly under the microscope at work, but I'm used to it. I know my job and I do it very well. I've been labeled at my job as being pretty eccentric, (thanks bipolar disorder!) but I like who I am. People are going to think whatever they want about me. Like you said you can't please everyone.

I don't have bipolar but I understand what you are saying since I have depression. You just become an easy target for family

My family likes to have someone to pick on also. I used to get pissed but now I'm like whatever, I like who I am.

I am bipolar too. I am a rapid cycler on top of it. Meaning I can cycle in hours not weeks or months.<br />
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If I express emotion from mad-sad its always my "crazy" talking.<br />
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I took antipsychotics for over 10yrs because my now exhusband said he would leave me, take our son and home and kick me out. i did everything and did my best and when the side effects of the meds started well...he is now my ex because I was too unhealthy for him to waste the rest of his life with. yet my health issues were side effects of the meds not my bipolar. Meds I took for him. He said he needed to be with someone who was healthy-wow, i was very healthy until i took the pills he insisted i take. We were married 14yrs. We are civil but i do blame him for my health because he insisted I be a guinea pig on all those meds over the years that have hurt my body so much I am told if i make it to 50 it will be a miracle. I am only 37.<br />
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He tried to use it in our divorce and the judge told him I had exhibited no issues and it is funny that if I am so bad why have I been getting visitation 50/50 even before the divorce was final??? The judge actually told his lawyer to drop the bipolar comments because I am under a shrinks care (since 1998) and my shrink wrote a letter to the judge how I am quite able to take care of my child and am no danger to myself or others and I am extremely stable.<br />
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I am the crazy one in the family, yet all my siblings have symptoms like mine or worse. i am the freak, yet I am the one every family member turns to in a crisis. I am the damaged one, I hear. Ooooh stay away from her, blah blah. Family can be great and awful all at once. Im called "the walking pharmacy", I take 2 meds a day and I am a pharmacy???<br />
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But you know what??? I know who I am, I love who I am, I understand my disease and I cope with it. AND i am happy. You sound like you have a good grasp of it all and I think you are doing great and you can have a normal life. <br />
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If you ever need to talk....i am here :)

Thank you. A lot of people don't understand how hard it is to cope sometimes, but I take it one day at a time, it's all I can do.

could i tell u my story and ask ur opinion? i think im bipolar and im trying to find the right person on here to talk to... i asked questions and put stories on here but no one seems to really have real advice...

Sure you can tell me your story. you can email me if you like.

Reading through these posts you could almost piece together my life story. I know it has been said over and over but I too have suffered from people seeing the bipolar and looking right through me. I do not share the fact that I am bipolar with anyone except close family. I don't ask friends or co-workers about their health conditions and I like it that way. I will also say - stay on meds! Through a lot of hard work and some great meds I have been stable now for almost three years. There have been times when I have needed to be hospitalized and mostly times where I just needed to be left alone. I trust only a few people with helping me make that decision. Uneducated people just overreact and make the situation worse.<br />
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My heart goes out to you. I haven't told my brothers and sisters because I fear exactly what you describe. Once it is out there is no way to put it back in, ya know? Stay strong.

that is really awesome. I am doing a masters in health care admin also. Do you go to NAU? They have an online program. I am quite a bit older than you of course.<br />
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Congrats on getting your masters.

No, I'm only about 5 years younger! Not working on masters at the moment but I should!

I attend a college in VA and I'm completing my yearlong internship now. I should be finished in May!!! Yay!!!

You are a person. You are you! Aside from a diagnosed medical condition, you have just as much right to be accepted into society/family as anyone else. You are special but not because of the issues you have, but because of the talents you possess and the big heart God gave you!<br />
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There is a fine line in between "bi-polar, narcissism and manic/clinical depression". One doctor may diagnose you with one condition, and another doctor with another. It is only "you" who has the most control and be the deciding means concerning everyday encounters. Basically, do not worry about every little thing people think about you or say about you :)

Thank you very much for this.

thats sad sorry to hear that

S'ok, I've learned to let haters hate.

Dont worry about ur family so much stay focus on the things ur doing. Keep educating them and they will start to come around youll see. Your a great person and you should talk to more people around you about it and you will see that many people have it and may not even know it you maybe able to help someone else

Im so sorry 4 how they r hurt n u. I know exactly how u feel. I have p.t.s.d.(post traumatic stress disorder. bi polar & ptsd have some similar symptoms. I notice once I tell ppl I take anti depressants they treat me differently & lose respect for me & they become afraid of me & they dont want to be around me anymore. I've decided not to tell ppl anymore that im on antidepressants. Its no 1's business. I keep it to myself

True, it's no one's business but yours.

Having been diagnosed with having a ' manic episode' several months back I would like to say that I understand the rejection and deiscrimination that you are currently feeling. My family treid to remove my Child from me and his father and have disregarded everything I have said and done. I am a Biomedical science Student hoping to start my masters next year.<br />
Sometimes those closest to us hurt us and that has been the case with my family I have had false accusations reports written to social workers etc ! DONT let this ' diagnosis' distroy your life, if the meds work keep on them also start and excercise programme - this has helped me when I am manic I may go run a couple of miles. Also take time to relax and listen to calming music - you have your life to live many sucessfull people have a mental health condition - reject those who are trying to hold you back.

thank you for your thoughtful comment,

I get that question all the time "do you think your meds are working?" "did you forget to take your meds today?" and yes, it drives me crazy, but i usually just say something like "yes, are yours?" hah. i make jokes out of it to avoid the embarrassment of feeling so... diferent? but if i were you, i would go find a brochure on what bipolar is. they have them for families of people with the disorder. put it on there kitchen counter, tell them to read before they assume. it helped my family understand that i will not just be mellow all the time from these meds. no human is that way!

I actually took my mom, sister and grandmother to a doctor's appointment and let them ask a bunch of questions about bipolar disorder.

Good point! I take Prozac and it is not supposed to have an initial effect! It resides in your system to be combative against ill feelings and depression and only works when it needs to!

OMG! im on anti-depressants and my husband asks me from time to time if im taking my pills. just because i have sad or angry feelings doesn't mean im not taking my pills, its normal for a human being to feel that way and i get pissed when he asks me. i can't help but feel offended and huff that i'm still using them.

If they ask in a way that is caring and loving then fine, but asking someone so that their feelings are hurt....well that's unacceptable.

Congratulations! For your hard work and determination in the face of obstacles set before you.

thank you very much.

I have the same problems, but understand that in my case it is because they love me and don't wnat to have me get hurt and not because they are affraid of me.

I'm glad you have a genuinely concerned family that cares about you.

The World is a cold place. I find it amazing that most survive. Sadly, I have allowed my anxiety and depression to isolate me from friends and family. Afterwards, I have found it extremely difficult to cope with life stressors without a "shoulder to cry on." <br />
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As you know, it is very common for patients to go off their meds. As such, I believe it is a common question for family members to ask. I have experienced my family members asking me the same question and I have been hurt by the question at times. With that said, I believe it is a family members way of "helping". I think we all know that it is very difficult to help someone who is suffering from a mental illness. It is a characteristic of the disease that causes so much pain and isolation. <br />
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Sadly, some people are vindictive and will use the knowledge of ones mental illness to cause that person pain. I have experienced this as well. In fact, an ex-wife use to ask me in public if I took my meds if we argued. She knew it hurt my feelings. Sadly, the ones we love will purposefully cause pain at times. In truth, I believe we are all capable of malice at times. Hopefully, we, on average, bite our tongue when the opportunity presents itself.

I'm not bipoloar, but I do have depression, which I think is pretty similar. I thought I was biplolar at first though and it was scary. I went to a doctor about a month ago and he put me on antidepressants. Medication really doesn't fix EVERYTHING but it has major significance and keeps me sane. I know you think it's hard, but it makes you who you are. I understand how frustrating it is for your family to be questioning you like that all the time. I also have ADHD and the kids at school always ask me if I took my medicine. I don't even know why they care! It makes me feel bad about myself.

Don't let others get you down, forget these kids at school they have the problem not you.

thankyou, these days i'm workking on trying to get better

I'm bipolar as well. Don't breakdown in a busy store. U go away for awhile lmao

I've already been put away a few times. Not fun at all.

I'm bipolar as well and I am on a lot of meds to keep me stable. I still work and lead a pretty normal life. My family didn't get that I could still have problems after being on my meds, either. They treat me a little differently than they use to, but by and large they have now accepted my illness. Good luck to you.

Thank you.

My sister, who died in late 2005, had depression and occasional angry fits at someone. I was scared about her anger, especially after she started to threaten to kill whoever she was mad at, and she started beating people up. I have learned from your story. We have to treat people with mental illness like normal people. Plus such people can live normal lives, and I'm proud of you.

Thank you. I understand that dealing with mental illnesses can be scary for some people.

I think this applies to so much more than mental health .. groups of people are labelled and generalized

Very true. I have only experienced this concerning my mental health.

I think it's the same with any family to "walk on eggshells" around someone who's been diagnosed with a mental disorder, unless one of the family members themselves have a disorder. After I was diagnosed with depression some years back, and my dad reacted the same as your parents. I stopped taking my meds when I turned eighteen because I believed that I had been misdiagnosed, and whenever I had a mood change, I'd have to hear "you were more calmed down with your medicine! You should've never stopped taking it!" <br />
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Now on the other side, I could understand their worry if you were violent, which it doesn't seem you are. My mom has bipolar disorder and has some violent outbreaks if she skips her meds. I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone with my daughter unless she takes her pills.


My sister was diagnosed over 30 years ago. Since she got involved with The Independence Center (many cities have one) and has been able to see ONE mental health professional consistently, she and her med's have made SO much progress! For so many years, she was overmedicated, undermedicated, not medicated at all, etc. I thought I'd lost my sister to this illness. Since she's been working with I.C. and on better med's (including Abilify), she's better than she's been in 15 years! We are SO happy and proud of her. Before, she was NOT someone from whom you'd even want a phone call, much less "hang out" with! <br />
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I can agree with you being able to be successful academic wise most people with mental illness or some sort are very well educated and intelligent I guess now I understand why my mom would say your book smart not street smart but to not havepeople want to be around you is the sameas my mom cause she will dog you and drain the life out of you so I stay away she s toxic and that's not cool forget about normal when people who love you cant stomach to be around you and most time they really want to it's a challenge to understand bi polar people at times I use to think it was the way they are an actan at times I still do but I hope it works out for your family and you

Oh do I ever know how you are feeling.... I am 53 and was not diagnosed bipolar til I was 31... the drs. and my parents and I figure I probably entered the world of bipolar disease at least at the age of 16... ba<x>sed on my actions and roller coaster attitudes and mood swings.... the impulsive behavior.... that is a big one for me.... when I'm manic I am so impulsive it's not funny..... the chronic spending, partying, (which got me in trouble with my spouse at the time), taking a trip about 3,000 miles away without telling anybody where I was going... and not calling for over a month, staying for over 3 months off my meds... the behavior totally off the chain.... my mania feeds itself.... and once i'm there I have to have a major reckoning with my doctor, and usually a hospital stay to get a grip again. I've also swung the other way too.... so down deep depressed that I couldn't get out of bed... hoarded up medication, planned my suicide, and attempted twice to take my life. So you see.... everyone is different. You have to figure out where you are on a scale of 1 to 10..... if you think 1/2 of a pill and a bit of prayer is gonna do it for you then go for it..... or if you decide that spiritualism and zen and meditation etc is the answer, even though life throws us curveballs constantly, then go for it..... and if you still have those family members who you honestly feel are having a go at you by saying, "have you taken your meds today"???..... just remind them..... "have you hugged your child today?? have you hugged me for that matter... or asked how I was feeling??? and educate them that meds take 2-3- weeks sometimes longer to get into your system in order to work.... so even if you hadn't taken them today that shouldn't have any impact on you, or very little.... get in their face.... if they are getting in yours.... get back in their face in a dignified way and educate..... ask your therapist and psychiatrist for a list of books that would be good reading material for your family members... after all if they truly love you they will want to do anything to help you...... I bought a copy of a book for each member of my family after I was diagnosed and it helped enormously.... it was called, "Night Falls Fast".... you can get it through Amazon for very little especially if you buy several copies.... Christmas is coming eh?<br />
My best to you..... may you find peace and harmony and the ability to face the aggressions and challenges of this world even with the detrimental effects of bipolar disease dogging you..... hold your head high.....much love.....witzend009

im so sorry, would never treat you differently. i have friends with that problem and they will always be my friends

I like that kind of attitude and we need more people like that.

I so hate the fact that people think, we aren't supposed to have emotional ups and downs. An even keel is the way most expect life to be, but when your angry, you have a right to say that something is upsetting, When your down and don't want to do anything, you should be allowed to rest. There is no question that some go to extremes with both of these moods. And there should be something avaliable to help/motivate them. but you know, life is real, and it's real to be angry. Though it is appropriate to know when and where is the right place to be angry!

I agree, it's normal to be sad or angry. When someone with bipolar disorder or depression gets sad, we're having an "episode". Why can't ewe just be sad for a moment?

Sounds like your family has a problem. Sounds like you are doing your best to cope with what you were dealt. I have Bipolar Disorder also. I go on meds until I was about 33. I could have used intervention many times before that..I can say I have stayed in therapy since I was 17 and that has helped the most but couldnt keep episodes from occuring. I am 43 now. I have been on and off drugs. I have been stable again for almost a year now again. In 2009 I got very sick and spent the next rolling calendar year in and out of the hospital. This included going toxic on my lithium. I almost died and I was pretty pissed that I woke up a mess. Did meds play a part in the problem yes that time they did. But meds have been both good and bad. Then problem with medicating Bipolar is that it is a changing physical imbalance in your brain. Do what you think is right and keep yourself accountable with a few trusted friends and the doctors of your choice.<br />
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Don't let anybody tell you it isn't a physical disease. I am sure you have taken the time to educate yourself about your disease. Our mood swings are so similar to people who have diabetes. There is no rhyme or reason for why I go over the egde sometimes. Sure you have to eat and sleep and manage your stress; but then you are still going to have symptoms sometimes. The key is knowing when to go for help. That is hard for me cause usually I feel extra great before I need help. Just seeing someone regularly that you trust can help you manage that.<br />
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As far as the spiritual fix??? Bullshit. Everything is spiritual as well physical. I do believe our spirituality can affect us for better or worse but don't let some charleton pray over you and promise you a rose garden cure. Take care of your mind body and spirit - yes. but you can't cure this. It isnt something you grow out of. Although, Bipolar can be degenerative and your symtoms can change over the years. It can be managed - sounds like you are certainly managing well. <br />
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You may still be in the age of individuation. Time to figure out which things your family was right about and which things you can discard and go on to make your own life the way you think you should live. My family of origin is so codependent I still have to fight for my right to be who I am and how I am. I wish you the best.

Its good to know im not the only person who goes through this with family members. I was diagnosed with psychosis and BPD years ago. Iv had some tough times, what with trying different meds and becoming unwell. But iv been in recovery for seven years now. I still take a small amount of medication but i do well in my life and im happy. Over the years i kinda became a scape goat in my family for everyone else's negative issues and bad behaviour. If i had a bad day or different opinion or stood up for my self i was just told i was obviously un well or not taking my meds. To most of my family members ill always be the sister or daughter with mental illness, even though i have been told i no longer have any serious mental illness. But im really lucky as i have a great partner and son and to them im just me, just a person like any other. As for the other members of my family, well i now realize they have issues of there own so for my own emotional health i have to keep my distance. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, recovery is a very personal experience. And id say if the meds help then keep taking them. Iv defiantly become more spiritual too but im not anti meds. Anything that helps you on your journey and it sounds like your really doing great : )

I will comment soon. I wrote a thing on here, but I lost it. Just wanted to make sure I could find it again. I have been diagnosed with it a year ago. Story similar, but different.

I could write a book on this subject. I've gone thru all the meds I could. Then it was all the medcation combo's that I could tolerate. I'm on a reg of meds right now that seem to be keeping me at bay. Plus I have a very supportive and now educated fiancee who handle me and my 8 year old Bipolar/Autistic daughter. Thank your for telling us your story. Having family that doesnt want to understand your disorder, makes life more difficult. Hugs your way.

I suffer from it, and know a few other people who do also...we all receive the same generic doctoring...."take your meds, get a job, life will fix itself"<br />
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funnily enough, we are all ****** in our own ways, despite receiving such great care and advice.<br />
I am an emotional roller coaster...main moods being anger, and rage, followed by depression.<br />
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Another is so paranoid about life she barely leaves the house....she used to never stay home, now she goes nowhere, cos of paranoia.<br />
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Another suffers (as we all do) from the side affect of achene, not normal achene, the kind that is huge, oozing, takes over most of your face, one a beautiful woman, now going through the worst outbreaks in her life...she is mostly depressed all the time.<br />
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All three of us find it hard to keep a job for longer than three months, in fact none of us have worked for over a year and half at least<br />
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and finally a man, he works regularly. but only because it is for a friend of his who excepts that he is going to fall of the sane cart and have a couple weeks break in the unit every six months...<br />
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yes, doctors, we pay so much....and for what?

Your family needs to be educated about the illness, but I understand how they feel. To "us" (my sister has been bi-polar for 3 decades) on the outside, it's difficult to tell the difference between some of the ups/downs of BPD and situational/normal mood changes. Until your BPD levels out, they won't see the difference. Once my sister started working with The Independence Center (500 chapters, nationwide) and got her med's straightened out (including what I thing was key, Abilify), things got MARKEDLY better. She's doing better now and seems more like her old self (before diagnosis) than anytime in at least 15 YEARS. I'm so thankful.

I know how it feels. When I was in foster care, I was told I had "bipolar disorder" because I would sometimes go off on small things. I learned that this was not true. I learned that I wasn't bipolar but instead just had alot of emotional build-up and blew up when my cup was too full. People used to look at me like I had something wrong with me and just like you I heard the same statement "Did he take his meds?" but I have learned a valuable lesson. You can't tag somebody with a disorder for their emotions, for they are only human.

Very true, we are only human and we do have emotions.

There's nothing horrifying about having a relative who's bipolar. You're just like any Type I diabetic. They need insulin and you need meds. The issue's you state above are difficult to live with. It would be a good idea for you to be in therapy to help you with any bumps along the bipolar road. That being said you should discuss your family & find a solution to your problem and their behavior. This is a tricky problem because you want them to understand but you don't want to alienate them. Your therapist will help you find a way for you to deal with the family dynamics which are troubeling you so. Good luck and God Bless PS Religion is always important however some ideas stated here are a bit exessive. Also NEVER, NEVER get off your meds without medical supervision. I've see the consequences of this a thousand times and trust me it's a road that leads to ruin.

Not sure if you put that "nothing horrifying" comment towards me....I meant the name of the disorder....since the main symptoms are an extreme fear of being abandoned....I'm not even sure how the chose the name for it. And if it wasn't for me and it was for someone else....maybe the constant fear they live in that they will get a phone call or god forbid find their loved one hanging in the garage is extremely horrifying. Although being on the other end of, most of their worries are unnecessary, but they still have them. No one can ever tell you, that you don't have a right to feel a certain way. Ever.

hey man, a lotta families forget the natural moments when they worry too much. they forget the communication that they could laugh and enjoy.<br />
you weren't a problem or at all bad on your family, but they just lost sight of they good times cause they wanted to make sure that you were always ok.<br />
you should tell them how you feel more often because they aren't afraid of you, they never have been. every time you analyze a moment that's awkward or weird, and blamed it on someone, it's a diversion from the truth. it doesn't get to the point that people aren't easy. sometimes you need to start it off. it sucks, but it's really that much easier with the first word said. <br />
they love you, and they always will. promise, there's no question if they're still caring about your meds. they sound like strong parents.<br />
in the end, no one should ever tell you how to act. sure, being angry is a bit blinding to the person being angry, but you know what's good. go hang with your family and do something different than a simple check up or even a silent movie. go to the park or something seemingly dumb. all they want is for you to be happy. (lotta crap to take in so take a deep breath. that's all ima tell you to do. everything else is pretty easy after that)

good for you for taking control of your life

Right now i am going through trial for this disorder, my father and sister have already been diagnosed. So my family is more understanding. The thing is, i can see both the perspectives of the situation, and i hope everything works out for you:) Mind me asking what kind of medication you are on? Because ive been on and off seroquel for about 3 years, and im coming off them again, to see how im doing, and its not going so well. I need to be medicated, but im very wary about side effects. My psychologist has recommended Zyprexa. But it raises the blood sugar and im prone to diabetes. <br />
So i was wondering what meds you are on, I know that its different for every person, but im so desperate for reviews on different kinds, so if you could tell me, id be so greatfull:)

I am not bipolar myself but one of my very best friends does have bipolar disorder. His life was a real roller coaster ride when he was first diagnosed and the Dr.'s were working on getting his medication level right for him. It also took him many years to realize that he needed to take his medications even when he was feeling good. He would get to feeling so good he would convince himself he didn't need the meds any more and would quit taking them. Then of course he would go into a bad downward spiral. Now he does pretty good most of the time and takes his meds every day and that helps to combat the wild mood swings. Of course he still has days when he gets down but then don't we all. His family like yours is always after him about taking his meds and blames every bit of sadness on the bipolar but like you say sometimes a person just has an off day. <br />
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To me it sounds like you are doing really well for yourself. Putting yourself through college is quite an accomplishment with or without bipolar. Just try and be patient with your family. Eventually they will see that you are doing well and hopefully will quit blaming every little emotion on the disorder. Keep up the good work. :)

I have felt this as well. God bless you and don't let people take away your spirit.

Very few people understand that the medication doesn't take away emotions, but makes them more normative. Anger, sadness, joy are all still experienced, but not out of control or unrelated to the events. <br />
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Educate educate educate. You just might have to keep explaining to your family about the disorder.

Hi,i understand what u are going through ...but i understand. sometimes it happens that in such cases people around them think whatever they say is related to did order and even in cases they are right they are considered wrong ...what i wud suggest is u tell your doctor to explain this to ur family that your views cant be always written off thinking of them as wrong..and u r a normal person and can express thoughts which are correct.i m sure it wud help....thats a practical help .<br />
otherwise u can always discuss stuff with people who understand....i m a doc will def like to help

I was diagnosed with bipolar and spent 10 years of my life on every kind of medicine that would seem to be working great, and then boom, back to square one. Then I met a new therapist who said that, I, like so many people he'd seen diagnosed with bipolar before who were truly not. I have borderline personality disorder, which sounds horrifying to me, but when I read the symptoms and they were so dead on, I was completely shocked! Unfortunately, meds can't help me, and my family wants to keep telling me, "You need to take your meds, go back to the dr" yeah, well, the doctor says they are wrong, I don't have highs, I only have bottoming outs, there's normal me, and there's despairing me. And there is nothing I can do about it. So to all those having a hard time finding a med that works...look up borderline personality disorder and talk to your dr, those meds might be making your symptoms worse or just unnecessary side effects.

I know exactly how you feel, my family treats me the same way. I wish they would understand how indifferent they make me feel. Not everything happens because I am bipolar. Unfortunately, I have also have BPD. I swear I hate hearing did you take your medicine today, well sometimes, I try to keep in mind that they are only asking at times out of concern.

The only difference between us and the "sane" is we consider whether our internal emotion reactions are part of the wave a new trigger or honest. No shame in being considerate and i know how draining it can be. I'm so sorry your family look sat you differently, it's sad that they can't look past a piece of paper. ~America will never be happy until we all have a nice little niche on a shelf to classify ourselves with~ Stand proud you're human!

I wanted to press, "Like" on Facebook, but you're right, people can be prejudice against people like us. There is a great group on FB that are all bipolar, if you want to join us contact me. I love EP. It's a great site.<br />
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I have been diagnosed, finally, at the age I am, (older than most-- 50) very recently. I am certain I have had mild to moderate bipolar all of my life. I have never been in a psych ward (not that I didn't belong in one on a few occasions. You seem so successful. People who do not have a mood disorder do not quite understand what we go through. <br />
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I finally started taking medications at age 50. It was like putting on glasses for the first time and seeing correctly. Before, I was just so confused as to why I reacted to everything so differently than the normies of the the world.<br />
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Don't worry too much about your family. Just keep going to college and succeeding. Eventually, they will see that being bipolar is no different than having diabetes or any other health problem. <br />
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Thanks for your great post.

I believe not being diagnosed earlier, could of saved my marriage. I once asked my dad why didn't you tell me something was wrong? He said, it would be like telling someone who is an alcoholic, they have a drinking problem, when they aren't ready to hear it.<br />
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I had to hit rock bottom and unfortunately, my spouse left me on the bottom before I realized something was really wrong!

your story is the reason I REGRET getting the diagnosis. I practically ASKED for the diagnosis when i went to the psychiatrist. Why? Because I HATED my LIFE with my husband and I was NICE enough to believe that " it wasn't him, it was me," only to find out that every time I got upset after that, his mom or him would say "your<br />
just having an episode" as if I couldn't distinguish between being genuinely upset about something that would genuinely **** anyone off and an uncontrollable anger from left field! I realized after I started drugging that I was just looking for a way to live more comfortably in the hell I was in...(we were having issues which caused alot of fights on my end). I finally stopped relying on him for my happines and realized that I never was bipolar as it was truly all circumstantial...I was just a really nice person who got pushed over the edge.

I wish I were not really bipolar. I do hope that your situation has gotten a lot better.

You cannot blame them for being so picky, its like having any other condition like severe diabetes or blood pressure problems. It cannot be cured only can be supressed to a limit with medicine.<br />
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They do not know when it will happen, neither do you, they do not know if the pills will suddenly not work, they worry and fear for both you and themselves. They do not know what will happen during and/or after. It will take some time before they get comfortable with it. I would not say they have the right to be what they are right now, but its normal and just like how you worked hard through college, just work hard and even harder to be as best you can be.<br />
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It is also not that you cannot express yourself, but they cannot tell the difference if you are just expressing yourself or having an episode. It is in our human nature to react this way so just chill :). <br />
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Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon.<br />
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God Bless.

keep going

My biggest problem with places that "treat" any form of mental illness is methodology. Far too many places --even "good" ones-- have no skills in idiosyncratic (that is, personal) treatment of a condition and insist on using "text book" solutions in every case. And, the cocktail mixtures they serve out are far too often overkill, zombi-state inducing, and worse than the diseases themselves.<br />
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After 10 months of lithium treatment, I've now had lithium working its way out through my pores for 12 years, mostly in hard painful cystic lumps. The scars are horrible and the pain is bad when they occur. Yes, my first doctor used me as a guinea pig and never listened to me until I told her I wouldn't be back and would be discussing my case with a senior doctor in her office. The cocktail she had me on was agony and full of unneeded antipsychotic meds, too. To her, a male in my 20s not having even one sexual thought or erection in two months was not a bad side-effect. The massive cystic acne patches that appeared didn't concern her either, and neither did the thirty pounds I gained in under a year. <br />
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Other meds and doctors were not nearly as bad. Depakote, for example, required regular blood work, but the extended release type didn't make me sick and I never had to boil out of my skin at least. What it took to get better meds was persistence and leaving practices that were not helpful.<br />
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Bipolar is a complicated set of symptoms and not every one is the same. If you medicine doesn't agree with you, tell your doctors. Tell them LOUD is you need to, and tell new doctors if your current ones do not listen. There's no reason patients should have to tolerate boils, rashes, upset stomach, diarrhea, impotence/lack of sexual desire, immense weight gain, or any other symptoms that are not extremely temporary. Good doctors know that not everyone responds the same way to medicine, too, and they are not afraid to try multiple routes to alleviate symptoms. <br />
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As hard as it is to deal with bipolar disorder (manic depression) for the patient, the doctor, and the families, those diagnosed are 1) still people and 2) not contagious. Many family members and doctors forget one or the other of those simple things. Those not working with and accepting you are not your friends; and those seeing you as a diagnosis rather than a person with a diagnosis are missing out on the larger part of you. Don't let shallow people drag you to their level.<br />
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I am one of the lucky ones. After a few years of medication and therapy, I'm okay. I've been without medicine for nearly ten years now, and I feel fine. Yes, I have dark days at times, but I get through them. The biggest part of bringing on my symptoms was stress. Learning to cope with stress is incredibly important to anyone who hopes to be able to leave the meds behind some day. Be tough, be yourself, and be one of the ones who shows the world that bipolar is not untreatable.

You have an illness not a broken arm.. tell them how you feel. You HAVE, not ARE.. your a person, not the broken arm. Best of luck.

Good for you....I admire you!...>:D<

My comment is more about the aurgument of whether to take meds for a disease or not. <br />
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I have had problems with depression my whole life. For years I did not publicly admit it; not even to my family. And I absolultely refused the crazy meds accept when my life just completely became unbearable. However I never gave them a chance because of the side effects.I would justify my reasoning for not taking the meds saying if they were healthy they wouldn't produce these side effects. I went out of my way to find literature and other things to prove to myself I was right. Although I was raised in the deep south the family that adopted me; belonged to a what a lot of people call new age religion. It was a mixture of eastern and western beliefs and so from the age of ten I was practicing meditation and yoga. Something I still do to this day and I am sure that these practices have helped me tremendously coping with the DISEASE OF DEPRESSION. My biological father was an alcoholic, and no I have never had any problems with alcohol or drugs myself. My father whom I did not meet till later in life was bipolar, however he self medicated with alcohol. Between the alcoholism (a disease) and his problems with his bipolar disease he destroyed so - so many lives. I have exactly eight biological brothers and five biological sisters. We weren't all seperated and I ended up being raised in the same household with two brothers and one sister. All but three of us ended up with problems with depression, bipolar, alcohol and or chemical dependency. Then one day a few years ago my little sister who displayed all of the wonderful traits of my father went to the doctor for a back problem. As the doctor got to know her he recognized her disease. You see he had some personal experience in it, from living with a wife and a daughter with the disease. He hounded my sister, even went to her house a few times until he convivced her to get on meds. My sister like my father before her had created a lot of collateral damage through out the years. One was a son, who I raised as my own. Over the years I tried to convey to him that his mother was sick and needed help not hate. However I was not very succesful or maybe convincing because it was hard for me to remember sometimes. These diseases can cause so much pain in so many people. Well her son moved to live in the same city when he graduated high school. He wanted to hate her in person and he so despretely needed her approval. (I know, been there done that.) The first few years he would call me and ***** and complain about her and now that he sees her regularly how much more he hates her. Then she met that doctor, now my nephew calls me about once a month and with every call he just rants on and on how amazing his mother is now. He told me one time after she had been on the meds for about a year, and I quote " Uncle __ you wouldn't believe it for the first time in my life I love my mother. I also have a younger brother who seemed to be a carbon copy of my father. Because of my sister's results I contacted the right people to make sure that my brother had access to the meds. He has been on them for a couple of years now and is doing great, especially for a man doing life in prison. I asked him in a letter once about, "in what way did he feel different?" The one thing that stuck out over everything else was that now he truly understood and is at peace with the fact that he belongs in prison and he says he now truly understands all the pain he has caused to his x and his children. <br />
I just look back at the seemingly endless cycles of pain and misery he perpectuated and think if only my father would have had access to the meds. <br />
Ok now, I understand that you can't paint everybodies life with the same paint brush, however when you utilize logic instead of emotional opinions it doesn't make since to not give the meds a chance before making such a life altering decision. I mean come on guys some of the excuses and justifications I have read (and sometimes used myself) or ridiculous. Please understand I am not making fun, I am as guilty as the rest. I am just going to point out a few absurdities I have read on some of the post as reasons to not take the meds. No reason to take the meds, all you have to do is change your way of thinking. Perhaps someone with a mild case of bipolar this might work. Thats of course if there is such a thing. I know how one perceives life and the daily injustices is very important to ones on well being, however why would the way you think correct a chemical imbalance. Can you correct think away a physical disease? Another one I read said something like; I relish in it and enjoy the highs and lows. That somehow having the disease bipolar are depression is a natural state as that was how I was born. I wonder if the same person was born with type one diabetes would have the same "thats my natural state and please don't try to get me to take any meds". How about the one that the meds only treat the symptoms, not the under lying condition. This is one of the dumbest excuses out there. I wonder how that aurgument would hold up say, if someone was suffering from chronic diarrhea. Why is mental illness the only disease that is considered to be somehow a personal fault or weakness. I mean people who suffer with other chronic or lifetime diseases don't question their meds near to the degree we do. As I said earlier I do practice meditation and yoga and find it to be very helpful. Perhaps there are people out their that can cure their mental or physical diseases through the practice of right thinking and meditation. However until the Dalia Lama quits wearing glasses I am going to take my meds and be happy. More importantly to me, not ruin other peoples lives; as I have done in the past and have witnessed firsthand others in my family doing the same. For the record I am 55 years old and have needlessly buried three family members whom have taken there on lives instead of the horrible pills.

Maybe talk to a counsellor and let him/her talk to your family? Just so they understand more about bipolar disorder and do not alienate you like that. They need education!

My father actually went to some of my doctors' appointments and he asked a lot of questions. He showed me that he really wants to understand and I appreciated that.

Be your true-self and people will begin to be attracted by you. ( attracted=they would like to become your friends, talk to you , so on)<br />
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To discover your true-self, walk few kilometers/day and talk to yourself. See what you have good and bad. Fix what's bad and turn it into good.<br />
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God bless you and good luck in your life!

I've always been myself...I like me. I just think that my family needs to get know me...and stop paying so much attention to the bipolar part. That is just a tiny part of me, but there is so much more about me that they refuse to see.

I too have Bi Polor and the family is so like yours and my story like yours so you arn't alone. Neither am I , I see.

Nope...not alone at all.

I told my family i was an addict and since then, if i have an off day they assume i'm using. It's begins to wear on you. I quit using mostly for my parents and additionally myself but if they still think i'm using it makes me ask "what's the point?". I don't want my reasons for staying clean to be entirely self centered. My addiction was self centered and i want to break that cycle. Grrr.

It does begin to wear on your nerves. I have learned to totally and completely ignore them.

You really need to tune them out. When I was younger my mom was crying a lot. I told her she should take meds for depression. She did it. Ever since then she has been on emotional rollercoaster and she was 10 times worst. I wish I never said that to her but I was only 16 and I had no idea what I was talking about. You need to be stronger and know your the parent and you are completely normal. Everybody has emotions we just express them in different ways. Kid's think they know everything. Other people want to play doctor when they have no clue what they are talking about and don't ask the proper questions.

You're right, I just ignore them and live my life.


I open to check messeges and here is your story. I had to chime in because I saw that no one mentioned WHY a person treats you differently. Obviously, it is the label, but there's a whole other side of the story. .. I had dated a guy in the past with instabilities. I had thought it was a post Iraq condition from being in the Army. VA doctors diagnosed him with bipolar. Things started make sense when I learned this. His mood swings, irrational reactions, etc.. I took the information in and began to notice his triggers. Therefore, was able to avoid them. Him happy. Me happy. Your family can't do that like one individual can. Your family loves you, obviously, or they would not ask if you're taking well care of yourself. They chirp and discuss while you're not around, everyone forms their opinions, and acts accordingly so you end up with this mixed emotion. <br />
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Which of them is the one everyone seems to believe-in in the family? Every family has one ... lol My uncle is like the Opinion That Matters in my bloodline. Find who you trust most among the family and confess what you're feeling. You might be shocked at the kind of answer you will recieve and they'll be greatful for the intel. And if your family is anything like mine - everyone will know how you feel by the end of work day. When the need to broadcast intel comes, there's Telephone, Television and Tell-a-family-member.<br />
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Hope this kinda helps ..

You're going through what I go through. You should stop taking meds & seeing a psychiatrist because they're only making your situation worse. Pills do not solve our problems. They're slowly poisoning & trying to kill us. Look up "PSYCHIATRY EXPOSED" on YouTube & google it. You will be SO baffled! Psychiatry is a form of wickedness & evil. Show it to your family & educate them. Maybe they will think twice about ORDERING you to take meds. I want people to wake up & do their research & stop falling for this abuse, dirt & hurt of the government.<br />
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I was on Cymbalta for depression, & it made me suicidal. I wanna show you some resources. <br />
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<br />,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=f17ae772ca1ea813&biw=1366&bih=664<br />
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Ultimately, you make peace with being okay with yourself and not measuring yourself against anyone else's approval but your own.<br />
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It is a challenge for everyone. But, it is especially challenging with those of us who are marginalized into a cultural fear stereotype that has nothing to do with us as people.<br />
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There is a huge opportunity right now to break the stereotypes because as more people become part of the marginalized (due to the corporate enslavement of the globe), and more people become disempowered, the more the ability for us to realize we are all different and not acceptable to this sick system in SOME way or other. The poster above is right. Education is key.<br />
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I actually think that the most evolved marginalized among us can lead the way.<br />
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I am bipolar. I am incredibly proud of the the things and strengths that this experience has taught me. I have empathy, wisdom, self awareness and wonderment.<br />
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Perception is everything my dear. Claim your own!