Rough Time...

I've been having a hard time dealing with things lately.. So much stress and fear..  My birthday is comin up and it makes me depressed. I am self-destructive with everything thing in my life and because of that I'm staying on the beach... I'm afraid that I'm gettin to the point where I'll just give up again.. Its too hard to try and keep fighting this.. Everyday is a struggle to get out of bed and every night I fight to get a little sleep.. I don't remember the last time I was happy and not on drugs/meds.. Lonely.. I just don't want to do it anymore..
j375720 j375720
26-30
2 Responses Jul 18, 2010

People kill themselves because hopelessness is a feeling that people feel will never end. But like foxonline said, it will pass. The important part is focusing on stabilizing yourself until it does. I get depressed on my birthday too, it seems like I don't have many quality friends anymore, and almost all of them live 1,000 miles away from me. I've been contemplating seeking out cognitive behavioral therapy for social phobia, because being bipolar has isolated me. And there is so much social stigma, it's like a dirty secret i have to hide all the time. I think about killing myself many, many times every week. But just remember, you are truly unique and you have a purpose for being here right now. You have unique talents and abilities. Maybe you have not found your path in life yet, but it will unfold itself to you. It's dark, and scary, and stressful to feel lost...feeling around in the dark, but I know that you can get through it. Just remember... you have a purpose, and there are many people who love you.

It will pass, like anything else in life. Try to love yourself through the process of healing and try to find something you like every day to switch your attention to it. I wish you all the best, I went through **** recently, and I know it has this tendency to pass ;))