My Friend Mania

I live untreated. My low is excruciating at times; those around me are confused and sometimes irritated at my behavior. None of them know. I choose to live untreated; simply because I am an addict. I am addicted to the mania period. It doesn't matter how long it takes to come around or how bad the low was, or even how intense the mania is; I just can't imagine living without it. Everything feels so good, I feel so alive, what a rush. It's selfish; I know. Someday maybe things will change and I will choose to seek treatment; but for now...........
eoco eoco
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 30, 2010

I love the mania too, I've only had four very distinct mania episodes, but they have been the most fun I've had in my entire life. For me though, the devastating depressive effects that follow are too much to handle, not to mention how totally out of control my life has become - having a million different jobs that I cannot seem to keep, alcoholism, being angry and crying uncontrollably, and now one entire side of my family don't even want anything to do with me. All of that was enough for me to finally quit ignoring what was wrong and do something about it.