Skunk Smoking Psychotic Son

My son is 19.  He had ADHD as a child but this is only being acknowledged now by psychiatrists and doctors, despite years of family counselling etc. where he would have everyone believing his blatant lies!  He started smoking weed when he was 13, though I only found this out after he was sectioned last Christmas, though I knew he was smoking heavily from around 17, there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop him.  I had asked him to leave my home on many occasions, and even had to call the police as he was extremely abusive and aggressive, smashing thing in the house, including a brand new 42 inch plasma TV! He had no conscience and would push past me, even knocking me into a brick wall at one point.  He eventually had a full psychosis episode, hearing voices, sensing evil and talking of KILLING his older sister and me to "protect us from evil around us"!  He was sectioned and after smashing his way out of one hospital twice during the night, was sent to a secure unit for a month.  He went through every possible emotion in hospital, and cried that he was so sorry for how he had treated me over the years and swearing he would never smoke again and how much he loved me.  When he came home he was a true gentleman. I told him daily how much I love him and how proud I was.  HOWEVER! this has not lasted.  He has started smoking again.  Refuses to stop and take medication.  The social workers, psychiatrists AND me are useless C....s, dickheads, anything else that springs to mind.  I have been told be is heading for a relapse and have tried talking to him only to be threatened with smashing up my car and "gonna ******* make you suffer"!  I feel like he hates me.  The psychiatrist wants him sectioned again, but is waiting to see how this weekend goes as I am so worried as I don't want to be blamed. Also,if they come here with the police to take him to hospital he will kick off big time and has told me he'll STAB anyone who tries to put him back in hospital.  I'm walking oln egg shells due to his excessive mood swings and anger.  I love him so much, but truly don't know what to do ... Please can anyone help?
SadMummy SadMummy
46-50, F
3 Responses Jul 31, 2010

Get him on a good multi-vitamin and a whole food diet. MANY diseases are either caused by or aggravated b y mineral or vitamin deficiencies. Make sure he opens it himself so that he knows you aren't tricking him into taking meds. Ask him WHY he needs to escape (drugs and alcohol are an escape). If he wants to escape himself (most of us do and will never admit it), he needs activities to build his pride in himself back up. Begin with having him help with small tasks like carrying heavy things that could hurt your back or maybe fixing something that you couldn't. Gradually increase these tasks so that each is a bit harder and he will feel more in control of his life and less likely to want to escape. The usual reason for seeking escape is fear of being out of control (failing, being scared, ect). Don't patronize when he does the task well, but act natural as if you KNEW he could accomplish the task (because you have faith in him).
He also needs a physical outlet like jogging or sports or yard work or a part-time job or walking the dog...

Your son's behaviour sounds almost identical to my son's behaviour. He also had ADHD as a child and was difficult to handle. For all my effort, nothing ever changed. He never recognized that his behaviour wasn't normal. <br />
He also smokes too much skunk, and has done for a long time. THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT IT IS MAKING THINGS WORSE. His behaviour is totally unreasonable and extreme and frightening. I too have had to deal with having things smashed, being hit (always denied), shoved, constantly shouted at and threatened and intimidated. I too have had to call the police on more than one occasion. <br />
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He also had people believing his lies, people who should have known better and instead of helping him, only compounded the problem. He can fly into a rage at any moment. He also shows no remorse. In between times he settles to almost normal, but there is always this sense of bullying and that he could rage at any time. <br />
Other members of the family can't cope with him either. <br />
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I don't think we are alone. I know of at least one woman who's son behaved the same. again affected by the smoking. Others seem to become nervy or introvert. So often the personality changes, but those smoking it can't see it. People with ADHD are probably more prone to the side effects of smoking skunk. It is very strong stuff. A lot of hardened smokers won't smoke it any more because of the effects of it and how it makes them feel. There is no denying it.<br />
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I am scared of my son. There is no reasoning with him and he needs no provocation, (although in his head he has been provoked). And to him it's others who are crazy. He is too big for me to control his behaviour. I need help and I don't know what to do. And he needs help, but whenever I have sought it for him in the past it has fallen on deaf ears. He is older now and until he admits he has a problem I cannot make him seek help. <br />
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Other people say throw him out. I fully understand that. But for one thing that isn't so easy, I can't make him go. And for another, when did that ever help anyone? So do we throw all people with mental problems out on the street. It just doesn't help at all. He needs to be contained and treated and his denial and lies seen through, so that he has to face them. He can seem perfectly reasonable and rational. His behaviour has to be seen to be believed. I have never seen anything like it. I needed to be believed when I sought help for him.

First off, let me just say that your sons actions are not caused by pot. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's the truth. I'm not saying you should condone it because it is illegal but the pot isn't the problem. He needs help and meds. He will not take them till he realizes it himself. He's probably smoking to self medicate. You just might have to take the extreme options with him...use tough love. If he's living in your house, threatening you and your daughter's lives, it's time. He will say he hates you and all that, but he will love you for it in the long run. You can't wait for something bad to happen because it sounds like it's already bad enough. Have him evaluated for Bipolar disorder too. This adhd diagnoses doesn't sound as accurate as it might have been when he was younger. All those symptons and examples sound exactly how I am when I'm on a manic episode...I tend to turn on my poor husband (thank God he understands) and all my rage and hate is addressed at him, and of course, he has done nothing but try to understand and help me. I hope that things get better for you and your son....I know it's a different relationship with my husband and myself, but it's pretty similar with the symptoms. Have it checked out and trust your gut instinct as a mother. ADHD and Bipolar disorder are very treatable!!!!