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Jealousy

I had a kinder friend back at high school and she also developed mental health issues around the same time as me. she said she has Psychotic depression, it really annoyed me because i had been to the out patient clinic for over a year before she came and she was diagnosed straight away but i still hadn't been diagnosed so i always wondered if she was lying ( i know that's bad why would someone lie about having psychotic depression) my doctors kept telling me its too early to tell whats wrong Blah blah blah. now this friend is better she continued and finis he high school and is now at university and is doing well, while I'm still stuck in this hole of doom. I am now diagnosed with bipolar with  psychotic features and catatonia.  It irritates me that shes well and doing great and I'm not, i had to leave high school when i was put into the psychiatry hospital.  all my mates didn't want to know me after i was admitted. I think that her family handled her illness really well and that's why she got better with in 6 months, not that my mum didn't try but she didn't know who to deal with it and now she just reckons that there isn't anything wrong but its just who i am. I guess you could say I'm jealous of her as she got heaps of friends and is now better and I'm not.


Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

 
CrackedNut CrackedNut 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 12, 2010

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SOmetimes it does take years. I was diagnosed 21 years ago. I've been through a million changes in medication. 4 months ago was the latest change. I wanted new medication so I quit EVERYTHING I was taking and started frersh. Its a difficult and manipulative illness. Try to read more about it and meditate and pray and have faith. I liek to listen to music to help me keep strong and connected. Check out this song...it's one of my favorites...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSyixFR9tLo I'm not saying that all will be perfect some day, because it hasn't been for me, but I still fight.

I have smilled or put on a brave front, i do it alot but i still can't function. at the moment i can bearly get out of bed let alone work or study. its been going in for so long and i hate it. i want to be able to do things and get better and funtion. its been over 5 years, i remeber when i first got really unwell people told me stories about how they were sick for 5 years before they found the right treatment and i thourght man i was lucky for geting treatment early but I'm not i had to indur a muliplutive mental health traetment after another which just added to the problems.thanks for your reply. i guess your right. I just wish i could get over all this and start living again as a person.