I Have Ruined My Marriage

I must change my name here. I am no longer husbandsangel. I am his grief, a thorn in his side, the source of his anger and rage. How long has he felt this way? I don't know know. I haven't a clue. Stupid worthless me. 25 years have all been a lie. His lies worst of all. He made me believe he loved me no matter what!! He knows I am bipolar. I try and try to get better. I try every med, I try every therapy. I have cried many,many tears alone so no body is affected. He thought for so long I would not pay attention or just ignore him, drown him out with the loud TV. I was so confused. He was so confused. I just couldn't hear. So now I have a hearing aid, but it cost a lot of money we can ill afford. More resentment. I can't win. Maybe I should just go away,one way or another. If I can't be husbandsangel I'd rather nothing at all. He can find someone, anyone would be better than me but no one could love him more than me. He said some very hurtful thing last night his voice raised , accusing , venomous , and angry. This is not the man I know but the man I made him become. So I''ll do everyone a favor and get out of the way.
wanderingvine wanderingvine
51-55, T
5 Responses Feb 23, 2011

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar but before he was diagnosed he cheated on me. I was and still am willing to wokring with him on this. But for the past 6 months he has been living with the other women and her parents (he's 44 years old. He tells his parents and I he's not happy. He tells me he misses me and wishes he could go back 6 months. I tell him its still not to late. But his words are different than his actions. Divorce papers have been filed even though thats not what I want. He is confusing to all of us. The thing is he hasn't been honest with this other women. Doesn't tell her he goes to lunch with me and we talk alot, hug,kissed me, sent me flowers. I just don't understand him and he says he doesn't understand himself.

I'm happy for you and your husband.<br />

I'm so glad your happy again.We all have our periods of mis communication.Since I have been having Omega 3 (3 caps /day) my mind is clear and calm !

So sorry to hear your story! I was more lucky. Our situation didn't last long. I realized the problem was myself, not he and I set about making things right again. It worked. I hope some day your ex wife gets the help she needs and sees the destruction she has caused to you and your son although I'm sure it's far too late by now for any reconciliation. But maybe friendship? We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and I am once again husbandsangel as I was always meant to be. It's crazy how much the lack of communication and misunderstanding can be caused by hearing problems exacerbated by bipolar can mess things up in a big hurry. But hearing aids and a good therapist made all the difference fast, thank God. The very best of luck to you, heart felt!

I'm very happy for the two of you. Happlly everafter is not guaranteed for any of us, we must work very hard together and not separately.
For my marriage, I have not given up but I'm on the bottom set of ropes and finding that when only one tries nothing works. A one handed clap makes no noise and wastes a lot of energy. I do believe, I do believe, I do believe so says the cowardly lion.

Obviously you were already granted a heart as well as courage, my friend.

My wife also has destroyed our marriage. Our marriage starated out great, just like it should, then her body gave out. She developed siezures, her bipolar manic depressions became greater and in 2008 she started having psychotic break downs. This was too much. No mater what I said or did I was out to hurt her and steel the house, money her car everything away from her. None of that ever happened. March 2011 she came home and physicaly attacked me. I block her from hurting me any more. She called that spousical abouse and called the police. I was arresed that night, jailed and $12,000.00 latter the case was dismissed. My step son was there and told the truch to the court.<br />
Now July 2011 she wants a devorce because she is fearful of me. Mental illines has destroyed this family.<br />