Being Bipolar Gives Causes Me To Share Personal Information

Unfortunately I am actually very aloof But when I had my first full blown Manic episode I started to have pressure of speech so intensely that I could not shut up and spilled all the emotions thoughts hopes dreams sins and just plain stuff that I had held inside for so long

I do not know why we have this pressure of speech and why we feel people can accept what we say as normal With the hallucinations come stories that could be true but basically are only what we perceive to be true and actually are made up from our own emotions and thinking

I often wonder why I felt that I could say and do anything I wanted when I am or was maniacal but there it is the impossible was possible to me then and sometimes now although the very bad episodes have phased out a little more hypomania which still causes me to talk and write a great deal but not to give out that much information unless I am under pressure and I go too high just under mania

I will never learn how to stop what I do not understand so I guess the talking continues to the wrong people who use what I say as their own little play toy One person in my life said that she likes to find out something about a person and just jab jab jab A true sicko but most people are that way sometimes I guess I do not really have a knowledge of people that way I think that people are unbiased and real but they are not so I will continue to keep my mouth shut whenever possible But being bipolar is difficult to control so that is where
these support groups and blogs come in I can talk all I want to on my computer and no one will ever know who I am

Secrecy is an important part of life people are cruel and will try to destroy you if you let them and I am tired of the sadistic people running around on this earth and in my life I am done with all of that back to being standoffish and aloof when I can and when I cannot I just have to put it on being bipolar and having pressure of speech and not blaming myself for the consequences
bymypoles bymypoles
46-50
1 Response May 15, 2012

Before you post opinions you should be aware of the facts I do take meds how do you think I have survived so long with Bipolar disorder and the meds do not work well and I am unstable which is why I cannot control my moodswings If everything in the world was as easy as taking a pill life would be a lot simpler And meds are not the answer to every problem

exactly - since meds are not the end all be all...I have turned to nutrition. People who have BP usually have vit definciencies--B's, C, Omegas--taurine...do a bit of research and you might be able to stay more balanced simply by eating the proper amount of vitamins and minerals..or taking supplements. I can only share what I am doing...and I have been working on recovery from mental illness for many years. All the best to you ; )

I wish I had never written that story I have been there and back I have been bipolar all of my life I know of any other way to be I tried vitamins I have tried many meds together apart and had to suffer from depression that lasted for months without antidepressants I have survived the best way I know how There are no more suicide attempts No major highs or lows most of the time they hit me once in a while but I deal with it If you are stable I am happy for you I was in a I am feeling sorry for myself mood Life is becoming better for me since I have been using my talents and writing blogs and these support groups help Thanks for the help but it is just something that is not to be for me and I can accept that

bymypoles, I like how you've explained what I call not having a filter. I always forget when people tell me something is a secret - I eventually blab it. Altho this is no excuse, I think there are no such things as secrets!
Great for you to recognize talents and using them! Stay well.

Thanks for ending this on a positive note I turn to the computer and my blogs for sanctuary all of the time on one website I have reached 4,000 people who have visited my site and read my articles I think that is a great accomplishment for a "Disabled" person

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