Living With Bipolar Is Making Me Stronger.

Bipolar disorder sucks sometimes, but I realized that life kinda sucks for everyone sometimes.
Being bipolar has prepared me for those times in life that just yank the heart soul and energy out of you, where people without bipolar disorder are meeting a whole new front unarmed. With every cycle, I am "understanding the enemy", so that I can breeze though the hard times in life and get back to taking care of the important things like caring for the people i love.
With time, I have learned to come at down swings in particular as learning experiences.
In a way, I am happy while I'm depressed. It is very strange to describe, but it is very liberating.
Since then, I have been off meds and have been taking Bipolar at the brunt. They had been slowly turning me into a zombie anyways.

I still haven't conquered this weird problem i got alongside bipolar though where i'm not able to write. It kinda sucks when you need writing courses to go through college, but i'll find a way through that.

I think the hardest thing about bipolar isn't how it affects me, but how it affects the people I care about. They don't have what I have. They don't see what I see. They only see that I'm in pain, and that they're helpless and hopeless in trying to "cure" me. It changes them forever and it hurts them. And we have to deal with those consequences later in the future. I haven't found out how to deal with that yet, but I'm glad they're still with me.

If you would like to know more, feel free to contact me. i have no idea how this website works.
irdumb irdumb
18-21, M
4 Responses May 22, 2012

Very good story, it opens you up to what other people have to go through and the many different things people are diagnosed with. The human race is diverse. Good luck and i hope you can take little steps, day by day that will lead you closer to being the best you can be. :)

I to have Bipolar. <br />
And your story help me .<br />
I take medicine and it helps me lot .<br />
And I can take it . <br />
But my Son has it . <br />
And he can not take it .<br />
So I think that is great that you don't have <br />
to take it .<br />
It is hard for me . And wonder if I will every come back to the <br />
world.<br />
When you go in to Bipolar don't sign in thing untill you come out <br />
of it and I be live that .<br />
I am so glad that you can make it with out medicine.<br />
And you caught it young it took me long time to relised I had it.<br />
<br />
I am here if you need to talk to me .

Thank you, and I'm glad that my story was able to help someone.

I would just recommend staying off meds if possible if you want to write. They affect the memory and analytical ability. For college writing you need to be as analytical and focused as possible. You seem to have "fluency" of thinking and writing. However, you probably need to work on your concentration.<br />
When you are trying to write a paper or essay, divide it into stages and go step-by-step.<br />
1. Research. The phase where you read about what you are writing about.<br />
2. Brainstorming. Generate ideas about the subject you have researched. What will be your unique perspective on it?<br />
3. After choosing an idea from your brainstorming session, "map out" your argument or line of reasoning in the paper. This will be the overall structure. How will you introduce the main topic? Will you then provide examples to support your thesis? Will you take into account possible exceptions or ob<x>jections? Will you explore further ramifications or consequences of your main thesis? How will you conclude?<br />
4. With your "map" sketched out or on index cards (each card could be an eventual paragraph of the paper), begin to write the first draft.<br />
5. Revise the paper until it reads smoothly, with logical transitions and the right emphasis.<br />
Finished!

Thank you so much for your advice.
I do feel like I have a "fluency" of thinking, just not writing : P
And it's probably due to my concentration like you said.
(and maybe some anxiety)
When i'm confronted with any paper or even an email where something is expected from me, I freeze and can't write anything. I can sit there for hours and hours on end.

Very inspiring. I also have a diagnosis (Type II, mild case), but I get along without medication. I'm glad I was never fully "on" the various meds prescribed to me over the years (all wrong: Prozac, Topamax). Once dependence is established it's difficult and often dangerous to stop. <br />
I'm a professor and writer, and from what I've seen students are much more productive when NOT taking presc<x>ription drugs. One of my students who takes an antidepressant, and perhaps a mood stabilizer, had been in grad school for ten years. Another who took an antidepressant could never memorize the names of her own students, and never finished her graduate degree.<br />
If you can possible function without them, I say go for it. Mood swings often get easier to deal with as one gets older; this has certainly been the case for me. Just beware of dependence on legal substances and don't self-medicate (alcohol, tobacco). It can really creep up on you. Also addictive/codependent relationships. My current vice is Nicorette gum. Hope to kick THAT habit too.

I am also diagnosed with Type II because I don't get much of a noticeable manic side. Although I do have vivid visual and auditory hallucinations. When I first got them it was fun but I knew something bad was probably happening when my hallucinations started to attack me and actually give me pain. I also had extremely vivid episodes of what I can only describe as deja vu. Sometimes they were auditory and sometimes they encompassed all senses, but they all showed up as a vivid memory, almost like remembering a dream. The scary part is that sometimes 5 minutes later, the memories would actually happen! the conversation that just went through my head, I would see happen in real life!

woah, got carried away there, I wanted to reply to you because it seemed like you had a lot of experience with bipolar yourself and with your students, and I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can tackle my writing problem. It's got me stumped.. although i didn't seem to have much trouble writing this reply O.o