I Am Bipolar
I love spongebob remember on one episode Squidward brought flowers to a grave marked,
here lies Squidward's hopes and dreams. Ahah aha
I do feel like burying somethings that are in the past and need to stay there..
My dead friendship 4th grade to 18 year olds R.I.P
I'm burying my past sex with benefits stuff. There is no such thing as no strings attached free sex, you get hurt because you did it to yourself. I can't believe I let myself have feelings for a guy who I targeted, there was no alcohol or pressure from him, I showed up and took my shirt off basically. I know he didn't care about me, thats what I wanted! My period was really late so I spent 20 days pushing my mind into the reality, I'm pregnant, I'm frucked. You know what fruck romantic comedys I spent the whole time fighting that frucking movie ending, I got so emotionally invested in him. When I found out I was NOT pregnant I was sooooo happy, but I had a lingering sadness I sent a messenge to him but he didn't answer. He started dating someone about two weeks after the last time we slept together. I wanted him to care, what really had me baffled was the girl he's seeing is well some would say fugly, butterface, unattractive. He is dreamy blond hair blue eyes built, he frucks beautiful women then dates.. the opposite?. So I called him on the phone and told him I couldn't get him out of my head and how scared I was when I thought I was pregnant. He said well if you were I would tell you to get an abortion.
Your an a$shole.
I know.
You're not the person I thought you were, Goodbye fakename.
Now I am so free because the person I was longing for wasn't there, and was never there. I'm relieved. I mean only one other person has broken my heart and that would be my high school teacher who I was close with, but not in a relationship. And this dosen't count because it was an illusion.
Sad thing is that me and him was the healthiest romantic entanglement I have had so far, I'm moving up and pushing on.
I threw away all my lingerie and black stockings,garters etc. I want to fight this hypersexuality that stems from bipolar, its a big struggle for me.
I love everything about sex but I can't see the consequences when I'm in the moment. this pregnancy scare is the whack on the head i desperatly needed.
here lies Squidward's hopes and dreams. Ahah aha
I do feel like burying somethings that are in the past and need to stay there..
My dead friendship 4th grade to 18 year olds R.I.P
I'm burying my past sex with benefits stuff. There is no such thing as no strings attached free sex, you get hurt because you did it to yourself. I can't believe I let myself have feelings for a guy who I targeted, there was no alcohol or pressure from him, I showed up and took my shirt off basically. I know he didn't care about me, thats what I wanted! My period was really late so I spent 20 days pushing my mind into the reality, I'm pregnant, I'm frucked. You know what fruck romantic comedys I spent the whole time fighting that frucking movie ending, I got so emotionally invested in him. When I found out I was NOT pregnant I was sooooo happy, but I had a lingering sadness I sent a messenge to him but he didn't answer. He started dating someone about two weeks after the last time we slept together. I wanted him to care, what really had me baffled was the girl he's seeing is well some would say fugly, butterface, unattractive. He is dreamy blond hair blue eyes built, he frucks beautiful women then dates.. the opposite?. So I called him on the phone and told him I couldn't get him out of my head and how scared I was when I thought I was pregnant. He said well if you were I would tell you to get an abortion.
Your an a$shole.
I know.
You're not the person I thought you were, Goodbye fakename.
Now I am so free because the person I was longing for wasn't there, and was never there. I'm relieved. I mean only one other person has broken my heart and that would be my high school teacher who I was close with, but not in a relationship. And this dosen't count because it was an illusion.
Sad thing is that me and him was the healthiest romantic entanglement I have had so far, I'm moving up and pushing on.
I threw away all my lingerie and black stockings,garters etc. I want to fight this hypersexuality that stems from bipolar, its a big struggle for me.
I love everything about sex but I can't see the consequences when I'm in the moment. this pregnancy scare is the whack on the head i desperatly needed.
By:
punchdrunklove
Age:
18-21
,
Female
3
responses
