I Think I May Have Bipolar.

Recently I have been crippled with anxiety, over a new job mainly which has turned into depression. I started feeling low and soon became so low I was crying over nothing and I felt I could barely move, my arms felt so heavy.

But I look back on my life and I have had phases of over happiness. I have had an unrealistic view on life such as and have in these periods done reckless things such as slept with a guy in a bars toilets only to be caught and trown out and my reputation in shatters only at the time I didn't care. A lot of these recless behavious involves sex, especially unprotected or public sex. Or simply thinking 'I don't care what people think, I only live once, I'm going to dress up, drink, party, flirt and get a guy, then just drink vodka at 8am in the morning because it's fun.

My father has Bipolar as do others his side of the family. I have self harmed in my teenage years and at times have little confidence and other times an over exaggerated sence of confidence.

Think I may book an appointment soon. Lost someone close to me to suicide 2 years back. It has been on my mind although I have never planned on it, I just hear my mind thinking 'I want to end it all' when I know I dont really. It's scary.
Helsbells88 Helsbells88
1 Response Sep 8, 2012

Little late getting to this, so I hope and pray that you're okay.
I'm Bipolar type 1, and your life sounds a lot like mine, including losing a friend a few years back.
Trust me, you are NOT alone in this.
If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me.