I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 20. I'm 22 now, and I know and any one that knows me, knows that there's been something wrong with me my whole life. It really progressed when I was 13/14. In my manic states I would feel like the happiest person on the planet, not a thing or a person could bring me down, I would feel on top of the world. And then the depression part would kick in. And it would feel like depression but times a million. I'd feel so so so sad and unhappy, suicidal, like the world was going to end because of me. And I'd feel like what was the point of living I couldn't feel so low when I was depressed. I was a drug addict, a cutter, an artist, a musician, a yoga instructor, a practicing Buddhist, an atheist, a practicing wiccan, a goth, a hippie, a girly girl, a ****, a lesbian, straight etc etc. I was known for never doing the same thing twice, always changing my look, god how many hair colors I've had lol. I was constantly changing, all I heard was a couple words from people describing me when I was manic- eccentric, crazy, different etc. It was so hard for my family and friends to deal with me when I was in a manic or depressive states and that was all the time. I really felt like I was going crazy like people were telling me. I sure felt crazy. It would have helped me and a lot of people I know if the docs can diagnose teens if they have bipolar disorder. But at least I got branded bipolar when I got older, so now I've been on Seroquel for 2/3 years now and they uped the dosage to 600mg to also help with the paranoia. I'm learning how to cope and be 'sane' (like that exist) more and more everyday.
UnstableSammi UnstableSammi
22-25, F
Aug 20, 2014