Hey guys. I just wanted to ask you if you've ever had the same problem and, if you have, what you've done to deal with it.
For the past week or so I've been mostly alright - during the day. But when night comes and as the hours wear on I seem to get less and less hopeful and rational. I'm not sure if I'm just tired or it's something else but for the past week starting around 9 PM or 10 PM I just get this overwhelming feeling of sadness, guilt and hopelessness. My thoughts race and I can't stop them them. I try to fill my head with distracting thoughts and try to pay attention to whatever I may be doing (usually just on the internet) but it's been pretty much no use lately. Last night it was so bad that I had to keep repeating "It's OK, it's OK, it's OK..." in my head just to keep the flow of crappy thoughts at bay. It worked for a few minutes and after maybe the 30th or 40th repeat I began to feel rational again but as soon as I stopped telling myself it was OK, I just got sad. Then the thoughts started back up again and once again I was plunged into this Hell. This happens all the way up until I fall asleep and when I wake up, I'm usually good with the exception of the fact that I feel physically exhausted.
I'm really tired today (I suppose from the mental strain I experienced last night) and I'm just left wanting answers. Why does this come on so strong at night? Why is there such a difference in my thought pattern between day and night? I don't get it lately and it's seriously bugging me out. I really just want it to stop already, I'm so sick of going to bed stressed and waking up like a zombie :/
biplanepolarair biplanepolarair
22-25, M
3 Responses Aug 20, 2014

sexuality heightens at night for me. It wakes me up every 2 hours. Im not sure if that is common. I know it is common to have a racing mind before going to bed - anxiety doesn't let me sleep often times

Yeah, some days I feel the urge really strongly and sometimes ********** twice daily. Well, that was more of a phase I guess. I still do before bed every night and it definitely helps me get more restful sleep so I'm not complaining. As for waking up in the middle of the night because of it... I've never experienced that. That's really interesting though, I truly sympathize with you. Our condition can be a real pain sometimes (most of the time?) but we just have to stick through it, I suppose.

I fight whatever feelings I get and so maybe that's why it disturbs me in the middle of the night. It is a struggle but sometimes to our advantage - hypomania (being talkative and energized) gets me some really great friends who support me even when I'm depressed. We're strong people; we're going to get through it

That's just it! With bipolar, we get the best of both worlds so to speak. If you can call soul-crushing depression the "best". Still though, being hypomanic sometimes outweighs the depression but when the blinds start to descend on our poor brains it's like nothing anyone can imagine (who doesn't have bipolar). We are strong people, that's very true, stronger than most. I saw a sign once that read "Forget What You Want, Look At What You Have" and I feel it's very relevant. It's helping me put my situation in perspective lately.

There definitely are some positive takes on our respective situations. Have to bring out the best and fight what hurts.

1 More Response

Its not at all unusual---nocturnal variation. I'm supposed to take my meds at night for that reason.

Find the most physical job you can and work yourself like a borrowed mule..... your boss will love it and promote you and your physical exhaustion will calm your thoughts..... it is hard but some of my best sleep comes from hard work!