Bipolar, But Without The Fun
I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is sinking it. This is when I hate being bipolar the most. The mania can be productive; I got a job, started school again, and did very well. But now that the depression is setting in, all that hard work is about to come crashing down. I'm already becoming apathetic, especially about work and my relationship, which always ends the same way, in disaster and a complete breakdown. I've been in mental hospitals before, countless therapists, different meds, none of it lasting or seeming to help. I just don't want to continue to live my life like this. It's not a life at all, its just surviving, not even because I want to , but because I'm supposed to.