Why Couldn't We All Just Be Purple Or Green?

Alright, here goes.

I am a biracial man living in the southern united hates of america and here is my story. I grew up in a white neighborhood. Race has always been a factor even if it wasn't said so. How do I know this? I do not look like a black man, most have said. I have been spoken to in different languages with the person speaking too afraid to just ask me. Most of the people who ask me "what I am" don't believe me when I answer and then for the rest of the time we are around each other, there is an aura of suspicion as if I was lying. It got really bad after 9/11 because now both white and black people would gang up on me as if I were a terrorist! 12 years later I trust no one lighter or darker than me. So naturally with all this unwanted hate, I felt comfortable around latins and the middle eastern peoples, till they found out I was half black, then the conversations went south! White women only want to have one night stands, and black women refuse to take me around their grandmothers. I have to admit it is very hard, because as I continually question this thing people call "God", "Why?" I recieve no answers. Since white people don't think I am black on sight, the N-bomb is dropped all the time around me, especially in this horribly obvious racist community and part of the country I reside in. Growing up I truly didn't feel as if it was that big of a deal, but to "pure" white and black people or other races, it clearly is. I have to say being biracial has added to me really disliking people and what they create as groups or masses. Being a hopeless romantic, it is so bad that I refuse to date anyone who isn't mixed, but at the same time am skeptical of this because of their families. I've had a family member and a best friend tell me they didn't agree with interbreeding. I really wish someone would just set this whole section of the country on fire, both blacks and whites are so blantantly scared and racist of anything non-traditional, that I've been scarred and no longer want to give back to this country at all. The amount of hate I have been able to view from not "looking like anyone familiar" is unbelievable and I truly feel like society and it's inablitly to accept that all brains are pink and all blood is red, has decreased all value associated with my life. In my teens I felt as if, yes some whites were racist to an extent, but this was just a few. As I grew and made an attempt to be around more blacks seeking to understand my heritage better, I found out the sober truth that more blacks I came into contact with were just as if not more racist than the whites. If I were an orphan and never knew my parents, I would have denounced both races a long time ago. I refuse to choose because both my parents have been very good to me, however both races as a whole I am very angry at. It's so bad right now that I don't trust or want to speak to either, because they have failed me as people. Being biracial we have the unique ability to truly see each other's point of view, but when both sides swear we can't and are trying to sort or recruit the mixed person to "join their fight" the mixed person sees how inferior the two sides really do look. Yes I am a very bitter man who if death came to tommorow with "God" asking me "how was it?" in heaven, I'd simply answer, "horrible, sir."
getawayfrommeidiot getawayfrommeidiot
31-35, M
2 Responses Dec 11, 2012

"Since white people don't think I am black on sight, the N-bomb is dropped all the time around me," yep! and when i say my dad is black, everyone gets quiet. they say to themselves 'liar' been there dude. funny how when i was a kid, getting picked on for being a n-----, getting nasty nicknames, all changed when i became a teen. they can't have it both ways. and my thing has always been to stay away from racist people and ignore the ones i have to be around. ignorant, racism is everywhere. unfortunately. my dad is black, my mom is white. deal with it. if someone makes a big deal out of my race, i say goodbye. i'm a human being.

I am so sorry for the terrible experiences you have had because of you being biracial. I am biracial myself (black and white) and I can only imagine what it must have been like growing up where you did.I so badly wish people could see past "race" and recognize that we are all related simply by being human and that no one deserves to be treated like you have been treated.

I know your experiences have been horrible, but I'd just like to assure you that there are many non-mixed people who do not act like those you have encountered. It must not seem that way, but it's true and I hope that one day you can live in an environment where you are not judged by your appearances and meet people who are accepting of you regardless of race or color and who do not equate stereotypes and prejudice-based perceptions as the unequivocal, universal truth.

May your future be filled with peace and love!