I've Know For A While...

   That I'm bi, but I've never told anyone except for my best friend and sister :/ It's kind of weird. I felt a lot better after telling them though, and eventually my parents found out. My dad actually seemed like he was in denial when he found out. He told me I was too feminine and that I didn't look like a lesbian (which is what I figured I was when I first started liking girls). My mom didn't figure it out until last year.

   She would always bother me and ask me why I didn't like attention from boys and why I would get mad if they tried to flirt with me, though I'd often describe flirting as 'bothering me'. Then I became really interested in this one girl who I thought was the most gorgeous person I'd ever seen. My mom asked me about her because I had unintentional been talking about her and all I could think to tell her was that I really like her style. Then one day I got really sick and had to stay home while my mom took lunch to my sister (who attends the same school). When she came home she told me she had run into my crush and had told her that I said I liked her style and hair and stuff. When she told me this I honestly thought I was going to die. I turned all red and I was yelling "Why did you tell her that?" At the time I hadn't come out to anybody and I seriously thought that everyone at school was going to know I liked this girl, but, of course, nobody ever realized not even my crush.

Well she eventually left and I didn't have another crush at school until recently. The one thing that really makes me mad is that I can't really express it in any way or even tell it to anyone. All of my friends at school are completely oblivious to the fact I'm bi and I know that it's my own fault. I dress very feminine, I wear makeup eveyday, I'll even come to school late if I don't have my makeup on or my hair fixed (which I keep pretty short). I usually act really girly with the boys at my school but usually only in front of my peers. I feel that if I ever told them I liked girls that might cause some sort of tension. They often joke about gays or make comments about them and I go along with it because I know if I didn't they would probably figure it out.

So that's my predicament :/ I really wish I could tell them sometimes since it feels like I have to repress everything I feel as soon as I go to school. 

puppyluver1400 puppyluver1400
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 15, 2010

I think you are still young. And there could be peer pressure. You cannot predict the outcome after you tell your friends about it. It won't be easy but i think coming out after going to college would be better for you. Good luck!

Why you are so frustrated about telling your friends that you are bi?actually,you don't have to!And you are talking about being "bi" wich means that you like boys too.So just show them that you like boys,you are not obliged to tell them that you are lesbian.

Hey there. I am16 yearsold and bisexual. When my mom found out i had a girlfriend last year, she was mortified and made me break up with her. I told her i was just curious. And now she thinks i am straight. The way she acted when she found out was awful. It hurt me so ba because she kept saying " i just want you to be normal" i am normal. Just because i like girls doesnt make me abnormal. But i undertand how you feel because for years i kept it to myself and wen i came out last year in school when i held her han and kissed her in the hallways, people were shocked, but i was surprised to see how many people accepted it!! I am here if you need to talk anytime, dont hesitate! <br />
Xoxo becka