When I First Discovered I Was Bi

This is a kinda strange thing to me why I'm bi. I've always lived my with many pretty women in my life and I always figure I must be a pretty good looking guy or have a good personality. The first time it became clear I was bi was when I was reading yuri one day and I thought about giving yaoi a try. So a started looking at yaoi and loved it. It aroused me a more then yuri sometimes. But then I thought I'm a guy and being gay or bi is thought of like an abomination and I don't one be an abomination. So I've been trying to change even to this day. I hate myself sometimes and think whats wrong with me. When I'm surrouned by girls who like me and I see a guy that I'm attracted to I think stop looking at him and pay attention to the girls. I'm still in the closet and actually been secretly trying to get boyfriend and this is the only site where I have expressed my bi-sexuality and Thats why I came here. I figured someone my be able to help me quit or maybe I can find a boyfriend if I accept this part of me. I'm still trying to figure my bi problem to this day. And thats a short version of when I discovered my bisexuality. It just seems like all I can talk about to myself these days are about my bisexuality and the worst part is that I've been more attracted to men lately especially those emo looking guys with the long hair and skinny bodies which makes it hard to talk to women. I guess I'm what you call fluid.
TheThink TheThink
18-21, M
2 Responses Apr 2, 2012

As a young guy who's just become honest with himself a few months ago, I can relate to what you're talking about. When I was coming to terms with my sexuality, it just felt like something was wrong with me--hell, the first time I came out to another guy, I figured that I was just going through a phase or something like that, and that I would "get back to the straight and narrow" or something like that. Turns out, what happened after I told him was one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life =)<br />
I guess what I'm trying to say is pretty much what occc said: enjoy whatever experiences that come about. If you're having a good time and nobody's getting hurt, then there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

As someone older than you and being bi for a long time you are best to go wherever you think you have to. Just enjoy yourself and the sex you find. Try and experience as much as you can. Men, women, groups. Just enjoy yourself