I'm Bisexual, And That's Okay.

I was in love with the same girl all through high school, my best friend. I found out at the end of our senior year that she reciprocated my feelings, but this was after she'd begun dating my cousin, who is like an older brother to me. We have kissed several times during drunken encounters, but that's all, although she's implied she would like to do more.
She and my cousin have a tempestuous relationship. They have often broken up and cheated on each other. He is aware he took her out from under me, and has since encouraged me to "make my move" on her. He knows that their dating basically destroyed our friendship and that I really loved her, and it saddens him. It is a complicated situation.
About four months ago, I met the Man Who Changes Everything. He is my one and only, my baaaaaby honey sexy lover man who makes me laugh and takes care of me. I love him with all my heart. And even at this early stage, I just know he's everything I always needed. He loves me unconditionally. He is aware of my bisexuality, of course it excites him. He is always trying to encourage, ahem *liaisons*, between my roommate and I (hoping for them, actually), and even encouraged a flirtation with a lesbian coworker hoping it would go somewhere sexy. He desperately wants a *********, but has said he doesn't even care if he's there, he "just wants to hear about it."
Last week I saw her for the first time in ages. I told her all about him and how much I love him. We ended up getting very drunk and it turned into this awful heart to heart and we kissed. I just leaned in and kissed her, just a peck, and she put her hand on my cheek and we just stayed like that for a moment. It was very sad, but it was closure. At the end of the night, when I was blacked out and sick, it was him I still asked for. It is he who I love with all of my body and I want to spend all of my days with. I felt guilty the next day, for a while, but I realized it didn't mean anything, it doesn't change anything. She is my first love. He is my last. And that, darlings, is la vie.
LeGirl LeGirl
22-25, F
Nov 28, 2012