Bisexual Since Birth

I've always had intense attraction for both men and women. I remember stealing my best friends brothers' Playboy magazines when we were kids. She was always so confused why I liked them so much- I thought it was natural!
KayKai KayKai
26-30, F
7 Responses Jan 18, 2013

Hehe very naughty

I can so understand a person who is open to love with a male or a female. But I'm kinda unique, in that I was born male and present female. Oh I can remember those cute guys in high school and even associates that I could just lean in and steal a kiss from, but I'm very very attracted to the feminine form and prefer this over the male body, but I've been known to enjoy a great male body in my younger more adventuresome days. It flattered me to be with males as much as it did to be with females. both for different reasons. I believe most people are capable of this if they would just let their guard down. Love is love, attraction is attraction we need to stop fighting it.

I agree. I just remember being 5 and wanting to be a boy really badly because all the girls paid attention to them. All the boys in class really liked me and treated me like "one of the guys". I just loved being able to play and be openly affectionate with both. Then everyone hit puberty and things got difficult. :p

Ah puberty! the greatest and worst thing in our lives! lol Funny, it was just the opposite for me! ;)

Ha ha, yeah, I grew up in a Christian family. It was war to be the person I am. I just couldn't imagine how I felt towards people was anything other than normal. Puberty made me the most female I could get physically- D cup!

I don't think Christians really know what being Christian is supposed to be, One of my biggest issues it their misplaced intolerance and the harm it does to children, It's a shame that people couldn't be spiritual with out being judgmental in that manner. Children and society have been harmed by their good intention.. But I'm getting off track. That must have been very difficult during your development and for years after. Where you good with your larger breasts. Was it something your classmate road you about? I hated puberty, I was a happy little girl (in my head) and could get away with it (in moms clothes) then the testosterone took over! good and bad though. I was a late bloomer when it came to sex, but have had a life time of experiences since.

I am the epitome of a late bloomer. Absolutely everything in my life was 10 years late, including my rebellion phase. I am close to severing ties with the Christian community because they're so clueless, even to their own values! (I know what you're saying! 27 years of Christianity and I've almost hit my limit). Anyway, there are a lot of days I hate my large breasts and tape them down. I look more slim without these huge breasts blowing up my shirts to a man's medium or a woman's XL. My classmates ignored me when I hit puberty, they thought I was weird for dressing in boys clothes. I don't think I hated puberty but it changed everything, because I was in baggy ill-fitting women's clothes or moderately good fitting men's. My first sexual experience was when I was 25 or so, so once again a late bloomer.

Just other things that were more important then, it doesn't matter, you are you. but boy/girl did is suck when we were kids. I felt totally left out of most things, small effeminate boys often got the crap beat out of us, until we learned to fight back. That took me years to figure out. Spent the first half of my life people pleasing. And the second half repairing. I did have a family (my two boys) and I put a lot of energy into seeing they didn't grow up with the bias and gender associations most have. They are both really good kids.. bumps hell yea, but what parent doesn't have bumps. Thanks so much for helping with this last one. My ex was a DD cup, about 12 years ago she used my health insurance to get an augmentation. She feels much better now, esteem wise and back wise. My first sexual experience was with a boy when I was 13, I wish it had been better, (just oral) going down is a great thing for me! I enjoyed what we shared enough to desire it when ever possible. I went on to date girls, I'm just more connected with the female spirit so intimacies are that much closer with women. I think if I had been born female I would still prefer females, just for the emotional connection. I don't "get" men, I just loved them sexually occasionally, Probably because men are "sexual" most of the time.

Yeah, that always annoys me when I am in the middle of the group and treated like an outsider in "the boys club". I hate that. I'm like, "what the ****, my vagina bans me from being an awesome friend?" It just sucks how being female can automatically reject you from friendships. I never had to physcially defend myself though. That must have been nerve wracking for you. I am still in a bit of a people-pleasing phase, my parents are so devoted to God and see homosexuality or bisexuality as "the ultimate sin", I just can't bare to break their hearts. So while I'm sure they suspect I am not straight, I just can't come out of the closet- so to speak.

That's nice you have a family. It's even better that they grew up good people, that's never a guarantee.

I was too shy to do anything sexual. I had really deep-seated self-esteem issues and felt people would be repulsed by my body. I like men's bodies, but I find women's souls to be easier to connect to. Women are like the underdogs, their personalities are shaped through trials that most men will never understand.

I completely understand. I'm sorry that your family can't see you for who you are! What is a sin is for a parent to disguised a child because of a bigotry a religion has. The concept of a good god is so much more desirable than a god that alienates and divides. Fortunately there are churches out there that are open and welcoming to our communities. I was almost married in one, to a woman and with the both of us in gowns. It didn't happen because I realized it was the gown that I loved more then her.
Being shy and being gay or transgender really limits your life, I know. I spent a lot of time being width drawn, and in awe of my peers. I actually believe that if I were born female from the start I would have been better off, but I've enjoyed my life. It's brought me many things, and struggle if you are the type that pushes yourself (I am now) allows you to appreciate where you have come from. One of my struggles is to be all things to my children, like you want parents who know and love you, and you hide part of yourself from them to have them. I have done a similar thing with my boys. About 20 years ago I was in the process of having GRS, And it was going to be ok with my boys. But I looked at them and saw what I was doing to them, even though they accepted me, the woman in me couldn't kill the dad they desirved. I sacraficed for them and they have made me very proud. I'm sure they would have either way, but I would have blamed myself for every little bump had I gone through with it. Now I live comfortably between two worlds expressing all of me, male and female. I'm coming out to more and more people everyday and that is a joy. I hope you can have this joy as well!

5 More Responses

cant blame you, women are just better to look at

it is natural.....

I bet you liked those Playboys for their enlightened articles. Just a guess. ;)

I have come into it more recently, being bi. But I do enjoy it. I love the feel of a woman's body. I don't know why but I just enjoy a hard **** now too.

Yea i feel you on that KayKai, where it just feel's natural so you figure whats the issue with doing it. Cos if it feels soo good why stop doing it?