An Unliberating Experience

I came out to my mother and friends when I was a sophomore in college. I didn't define my sexuality specifically except to say I was "queer".  I had fallen in love (at least in the form of an intimate attachment) to a friend of mine who was already out. She ended up not feeling the same way, and my sharing my feelings with her eventually ruined our friendship. At the time, I was moving deep into a relationship with a guy, and I am still in a relationship with him. He has been very supportive of me, and yet I still feel trapped and burdened. I do not feel like I get much support from the local LGBT community, and it's been very difficult for me to connect with and interact with lesbians and FTM transfolk. Some don't even believe that I'm gay. I almost feel like I shouldn't call my sexual orientation bisexual but rather just say it's lesbian but I sometimes dig guys and am currently in a relationship with a guy. Uh...much of the feeling I have is a self-inflicted burden because I don't fully except my bisexuality, but it's there. I tell myself it would feel easier just to say "I'm a lesbian" or "I'm totally straight", but no....I don't think my attraction to females or males will diminish any time soon.

anisagonige anisagonige
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 16, 2009

As human's we all have homosexuality feeling's really we all do however it's just if we act on them or not!!!!!! So your human what's worng with you ,nothing at all !!!!!

If people cut you off when you come out, then they weren't real friends.

I agree with you, jp.<br />
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I think that some gays ARE threatened by bi-sexuals.<br />
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Some hetro's, too.<br />
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I came out to a group of friends when I was drunk, at a social gathering, years ago.<br />
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I'll never forget one of the men, on his way to visit the toilet, saying to me, 'Hey, don't jump on my wife while I'm gone!'<br />
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I managed to resist the temptation to say that he was the only one who'd be likely to jump on his wife......