Bi Girl

iv only really properly accepted my bisexuality in the last year.  but it started long long before that.

my first real experience was about 4 years ago.  dont get me wrong but i had kissed girls before, but i dont consider them real experiences.  embarrassingly, they were motivated by the whole girl kissing to impress guys fad...

anyway, i was on a group holiday with 2 other girls and their mothers and us girls got hold of some alcohol n got pretty drunk(i know that sounds bad). one girl passed out and the other 2 of us ended up kissing n touching n whatever. i think i might have thought about girls before that but not much, it was just curiosity.

anyway, the next time i was drunk again we were at an all girl thing, seriously everyone was kissing each other (just experimentation) but me n 2 other girls ended up in a *********.

after this i was like woah. i didnt know if i liked what had happened or not.  i thought about it and got kinda turned on n then was disgusted in myself.  i didnt know how to feel. i was kinda worried i was a lesbian n that honestly scared me. i stayed away from girls for almost a year after that.

i also had a boyfriend (on and off, but mainly on) during and since those first two things.  another reason i was confused.

eventually i started fantasizing about girls... n also doing things with them again.  id picked up a few at parties, and done other things, but there was never anything serious.

my boyfriend, me and one of our mutual female bisexual friends ended up having about 4 ********** with us over 6 months. it was fun at the time, but then got awkward when she started being interested in my bf, so it stopped pretty bloody quickly. by the time this started i knew i was bi.

 

the only really annoying thing now is that its extremely difficult to find other bi girls where i live, and even if i do, it doesnt mean ill automatically be into them, obviously.  i really want to tho, i want to try a relationship with a girl, for real ya know?

proyecto proyecto
18-21
1 Response Mar 3, 2009

It's difficult to be honest with yourself when there is so much peer pressure and crummy attitudes. You've grown up with an attitude yourself about 'lesbians' from your comment that you were worried you were one. Don't worry! It's ok to be anything you are, even a lesbian. Finding out what/who you are is the hard part!<br />
Good luck and enjoy the ride.