Closeted

I have been feeling for many years that I may be bi.  Now I am about 99% certain of it.  Only I am too scared to act on it, mainly because of my family, but also because I am nervous and wouldn't know what to do.  I have never had a true boyfriend, but I don't know if I even want one anymore, my heart is aching more towards women.  It would be so much easier if I came out, because everyone thinks I am straight, but I am too shy and scared.  But I know it's what I feel.  I have a stash of gay movies and books I keep hidden from everyone, like the L Word season DVD's and a few books like Keeping You A Secret and Annie On My Mind.  It feels right when I am reading or watching them, and I wish I could share it with someone.  I love going to this gay night club with my friends and I went to Gay Pride in DC a few weeks ago and it was awesome.  I just want to be able to really enjoy it some day.
boudica1224 boudica1224
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 17, 2007

if u know ure gay, just go for it. i think im just bi,,, im turned on by hot ****** and hot meat.

i used to be like you but now i dont care anymore who knows. my desires have overcome my fears and i feel i owe it to myself to explore my passions.

i know exactly how you feel... i felt the same exact way for a while... but then i came out to my best friend and she was rly accepting... now most of my friends accept it and the ones that dont live with it... to me if u can accept who i am then maybe we shouldnt be friends...<br />
but for the parents... i wouldnt tell them until u r like 100% positive.<br />
<br />
watch but im a cheerleader. its a rly good movie.