Me, My Wife and Her Girlfriend

 I am not bisexual but my wife is.  About a year ago my wife came to me and told me that she was having feelings, romantic and sexual, for her best friend.  She also admitted to me that the two of them and been making out recently.  My wife told me that she did not want to leave me but have both of us in her life.  I was excepting of this as long as she was honest with me and kept no secrets.  I won't lie we've had some hurdles, but through the three of us talking we have worked through all of it.  I now look to my wife's girlfriend as part of my family.  Nothing sexual had happened between myself or my wife's girlfirend and i;m ok with that.  Now here is the weird part.  A few days ago the Girlfriend's ex-husband played an audio tape for her that is my wife and her girlfriend having sex.  He said he snuck into the house and put the recorder in her bedroom.  My wife and her girlfriend are not out, because of work and family issues.  I feel like everything we've worked so hard on is about to come apart. Any advice or ideas?


et75 et75
9 Responses Jul 7, 2009

Sounds to me that this is just a prelude to the x wanting to insert himself into the situation with his x and you wife..... some how get him to text his black mail to one of you and save it talk to a lawyer. it not against the law to keep text msgs like it is to record his phone call. best of proactive not reactive...

Just like shaggy! IT WASN'T ME!

You have to sort this jerk out,you are happy with your wife and her girl friend then tell this jerk to butt out or you will take things further,he's probably thinking your his golden egg but stand your ground or fight back,black-mail I do believe is a crime so you have several options,solicitors letter,police warning or court.I probably won't come to that as black mailers are usually cowards who rely on so called power over you.In this case activities between wife and girlfriend.

wow, retarded exe's huh. <br />
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good luck dealing with that mess, and i hope your wife can find some love with her friend. Without messing things up between you and her. Poly relationships just represent the human ability to love different humans in different ways.

Sounds like she is having her cake and eating it too ! ,,and your not allowed to partake!? WTF?!

Ive had several bi girlfriends and loved it. I'm very in love and committed now to a straight woman and quite frankly I wish she was bi.

If you talk things out with you wife and GF marriage shouldn't go apart, it's the 3 of you who have to fight...and about the GF's X, scare the hell out of him, call the police, talk to a lawyer or even get a friend of yours playing a cop or a lawyer, so he can't continue to screw your life... I think you're about to have the life every man wants, fight for it!!

I have been going throught kind of the same experiance...<br />
About six years ago right before our 10 wedding aniversary my wife cheated on me on a business trip. After that experiance we decided to make it work. We promised to be honest and never let something like that happen again. <br />
About a year later she told be she thought she was bi-sexual. I decided to love all of her if that is what she was. My condition was she could be with single women and under no circumstance was she to be with another man.<br />
She had a couple of encounters and eventually I joined in after she continued to ask.<br />
Fast foward two years and we now has a girlfriend. There are rules we have. I cannot be physical with her girlfriend unless she is present. Truth is we all love each other and it seems to be working out.<br />
To everyone else she is my wifes closest friend.<br />
The relationship is not based on sex. The truth is most of our time is spent in a non sexual way.<br />
We are very careful nobody finds out..but I wonder how many couples are like us?

Wow, what an invasion of privacy! I don't know what to tell you except that I would want to talk to a lawyer about my options. It isn't a crime to out someone, it's just insensitive and rude. But blackmail is a crime. Are you sure her X's intent is to harm their relationship/lives? I would start documenting all his actions related to your family, even as far as saving emails, IMs and voice recording phone conversations. This situation sounds like it could get worse before it gets better.<br />
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There is a growing supportive online polyamorous community for people involved in multi-partner relationships. Perhaps at least talking it out could help? You will be in my thoughts.