This Annoys Me...

Ok, Ive been seriously thinking about this and the results I am getting are annoying me. Is it me or is bisexuality still treated like a illness. I am saying this because I am asking the question is, 'Do you think it is necessary to tell your partner that you are bisexual'? I am going to give you my answer straight away - NO, you dont have to if you dont want to. Most of the reactions have been half hearted thinking/ignorant. Basically, many people consider it to be dishonest by not disclosing your sexual orientation. I mean for christs sake, if you choose not to disclose your orientation, it does not make you;

A criminal

An unfaithful cheat

But it does make you dishonest?

Could someone please point out how it makes you dishonest by not telling your partner this piece of irrelavant information and yes it is irrelevant when you are in a commited relationship with someone you love. Now you may say, because relationships are for sharing everything, Wrong! This is not always so, I would never tell my prospective partner what gets said in my therapy sessions. The point is though, I will tell the other partner because I want to, not because it is wrong of me not to do so.

Can you imagine as many of you may well have done what gets said to the other half, there are a number of options;

Girlfriend - I have something to tell you steve!

Boyfriend - Do you? What is it?

G - I'm bisexual

B - Oh, thats nice!


B - I have something to tell you Jane!

G - Do you? What is it?

B - I'm bisexual

G - I dont think I can trust you

B - : (


G - I have something to tell you Steve

B - Do you? What is it?

G - I'm bisexual

B - Lets have a ********* baby!


Hahaha, where is the logic (really) in telling them? You either tell them because, you feel the urge to be upfront and honest about your inclinations towards the same sex(why does your partner care, unless it was for his own sexual fantasies). So now he knows, its kinda like saying, that they have the right to know, you dont mind checkin out the booty of the men or women(men and women apply). Your partner doesn't need to know that, maybe might not want to that your are sexually attracted to the same sex.

But, honestly, if he/she loves you, they wouldn't care that you are bisexual and the only logical reason I can think of for telling them is that they find it a turn on, or that if you tell them, you will gain acceptance which you crave.


Another way of thinking about it is, do gay/lesbian and straight people have to disclose their orientation to their partner? Silly question really! No of course, yet the bisexual crowd are pressured to. This is why I referred to bisexuality as an illness earlier because of the way people's lazy/hazy thinking attitudes towards it. Little things like this only serve to increase the biphobia and segregation that already exists.


bubblegum84 bubblegum84
26-30, F
7 Responses Feb 28, 2010

There is such stigma with being a bisexual person. I have told a few friends of mine and the results have been mixed. I don't know why I feel like hiding this piece of information from people, but I also like sharing it because I don't like to hold in my feelings. I do agree that holding "confessions" with your significant other can make the two grow closer together, but it can also be a highly detrimental element to the relationship that could make it crash and burn. It is hard for people who aren't bisexual to see us as faithful and not promiscuous, as loyal. For me coming out to my ex boyfriend was a mistake because he constantly questioned my faithfulness.

I think alot of people have missed a crucial point and that bisexuality is something that we are obliged to be honest about, why? What is the reason? If you are bisexual you have nothing to be ashamed of so why do you need to feel obliged to go to confessions with your partner, like going to church.


I personally think that if you are just casually dating someone then no, you should not have to tell them. But if you are dating towards the goal of a life long relationship then Yes, you should be telling your partner everything including the fact that you are BI. if that person has a problem with it..if they are going to be upset and not want you to hang out with ANYONE because they can't trust you..then that's on THEM and they are probably not the right person for you.

But if you plan on having a commited, serious relationship with someone, you are not going to want to stray and being bisexual is no excuse to stray so telling them your bisexual would be a means of justifying your willingness to be open to other people even though you are commited. Many bisexual people do not stray and this further illustrates the lack of needing to disclose your sexuality because it isn't productive to tell them, don't get me wrong, its nothing to be ashamed of but if you don't want to tell them, it doesn't make you any less of a person. The fact that it is wise to disclose just confirms that you have something to be ashamed of and therefore they have a right to know about it. There is no other motivator to tell them

I've been on all three, yes THREE, sides of this argument.<br />
My first LTR, she never knew that I was bi, and my encounters with other guys were one-offs, meeting them in public toilets or the seafront where there was a cruising area.<br />
My second, she'd known I was bi for years, in fact she was the first person I told, but I was still doing it in secret because I didn't think she'd approve. (Later on she decided to try it herself, and is now on Facebook as being interested in both.)<br />
And my wife? I told her I was bi when we met, we've had a few MMF with bi guys, and my 'single' fun is via webcam ************.<br />
Yes, it is a lot better when you can be honest, when you can share things with your partner, but this depends on you being honest in the beginning rather than just springing it on them when you've got married, or moved in together. <br />
I think that the majority of young people nowadays are open to things like this. Unfortunatly a lot of older people aren't.

Who cares what people think. Keep your preferences to yourself unless the opportunity presents it self. Its more readily accepted in the right groups of people. Then again I do not hear it talked about much. But your sexual preference is not of an issue in Canada at least.