My First Crush

I don't think many people who are bisexual are exactly 50/50. I am a girl andabout 75% 'straight' and 25% 'gay'. I used to have a friend and we did a lot of things together when we were kids and although I didn't think that I like liked her, I was happy to be around her.

But when I was with her my heart would race and I would feel quite tingly and slightly nervous. So I consider her to be my first official crush which I only realised when I started admitting to myself that I was attracted to girls as well as guys, which only happened when I was about 14.

I haven't told my family because they would not like the idea AT ALL. Sadly they still think it's unnatural and wrong to be gay/bi and I could never tell them... it hurts whenver I think about it but that's the way it is... many asian parents in particular korean parents would be devastated to have their child tell them that they were gay/bi. I think Korea still denies that there are any gay koreans and that being gay is a 'western disease'.

Anyway that's my story...    

deleted deleted
5 Responses Mar 10, 2010

I'm also a bi asian. After I happened to come across this site and your post, I decided to join to tell my story. Last winter I gathered the courage to tell my parents and a friend that I thought I was queer. Thank God I wasn't kicked out of the house. My parents wondered why I was so down, and so I just finally told them. The result? My mom does not believe me. She thinks I'm confused and have high dating standards. Sometimes we joke about it, but I know she won't accept the truth, I just wonder if I'll ever date a girl. I mean it takes courage and a bit of recklessness to tell your Asian parents. But I think it takes hella guts to confess to a girl, and I have not been able to do that yet, unfortunately.

I'm chinese and also bi. I'm stuck in the same situation as you because if I told my parents, they would kick me out of the house....

Star, first, {{{HUGS}}... you have a tough situation on your hands. Were I you, I would not say anything to my parents at all about this. As you have said, you are bi, not lesbian, so there is every chance in the world that you will find a man and marry him -- then your parents never need to have any idea about this and you do not have to worry about hurting them. If you do find a woman to be with, you can deal with it at that time, when you are older and when things may have changed a bit in Korea. In the meantime, please know there are others out here like you -- so, again, {{{HUGS}}}

This last couple of years I've become more open with it to the men in my life.

I am 47 and still have no need to discuss my sex preferences with my parents. I am living a straight life with wife and kids, so maybe it would be different if my domestic partner was male.