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Bored Loney Everything

everyone knows those nights when you cant sleep, your mind is just full, but at the same time empty.
its one of those nights, if any readers out there are like me, then you do everything you can to please someone else, friends, family strangers, what ever. but when you really need something, when you need to talk to someone it is like everything is lost like the world is gone it **** and no one cares about u.

i dont understand how one can give so much and have noone there for them?

also if you guys out there are anything like me, no matter how good you do at something, no matter how much prasie you get from countless people, you cant help but feel blue at the end of the day, like your a worthless peace of shitt.

i just think how much media and government controlls us, how they gett us to think a certain way, you may not belive it, but people and organizations run your life more than you know, school, controlled by somone, home controlled by parents, job your boss.. theres barely anything were in controll of, so i can we say anything is really us, if all are actions are govered by others.. who does that make us. are we any difforent then the worker ant. where even worse of becuase we have these things called minds, which are preventing sleep. at least a worker ant knows it place. us, me we always strive for more, nothing ever makes us fully happy, sometimes we think we are.. but months latter we see it was all fake.

sure lifes about the experince.. i mean im glad for what i have learned, but whats the point when theres no one to share it with, yea you may give somone advice, but it all gos back to where are they when you need them.

i n my case, where are my friends no.. why is it i turn to a random cite to fill my thoughts..

what i spent all my life to achive
only last as long as the fire burns
one event can change your life
so why bother living life
buss44 buss44 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 2, 2010

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ha ha will first let me say when i was 9 my father pasted away. at that time i began to grow up for my younger sister , everyone says i think like i Am 40. anyways i also feel this wearied kind of energy right now, from your response. your profile user is fearlessfi and my ex girlfriend name was Filomena and goes by fi.. and that's were a lot of my pain has been coming from lately.



and thank you so much for sharing a part of your story, its so nice just to here what others have to say. and yes dogs are so great and im sorry you lost here, i have two my self but there home with the family which is 12 hours away, im in university trying to make life better but it seams to be more stress than anything. thank you again so much

Man, you really ARE down. I see from your profile that you are in the 18-21 years age group, and to feel so blue at that age is really sad. I'm quite a bit older than you, so I can relate to much of what you say, having spent my lifetime trying to please others for very little positive payback. What can be done, you ask? I haven't a clue. I have tried to make friends, and I have a large number that some may call "friends" but they are happy acquaintances really. A true friend is someone you can call on in the middle of the night in an emergency, and they would come to you, or welcome you into their own space. I have ONE friend like that, the only one I can truly say I have made in a lifetime of trying. oh, apart from my lovely dog - we spent many a sleepless night, pounding the streets together while the rest of the world slipped past in uncaring slumber. I miss her terribly, even though she died over ten years ago. I know these words won't have helped, but thank you for allowing me to share them with you.