I feel like an stuck in between happiness and sorrow. One side of me loves to be alone from everyone and the other side secretly wants a companion that I can talk to and even a hug won't be bad. People say no one will love you until you love yourself but that kinda impossible for me. I hate everything about myself from my speech to my clothes. I not a easy person to have a conversion with either so it makes it worser. I try to tell myself that I don't need anyone so I started to lose the need to look at girls. I just think its hopeless and I rather look at **** to get the feeling of sex cause to me it's faster and less trouble for me and Its probably no difference. I started a fantasy world in my head long time ago so I can have and girl I want, with a life I want but the need for physical contact is really strong. Maybe one day I find a bored, depress person like me or maybe I just make her up.
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Sep 15, 2012