Well I Was When I Joined This Experience....

and have broken down even more since but I hope bit by bit I'm putting myself back together again....I may be some time, but I'm gathering support, oh yes!

I think I needed the breakdown in order to start the re-build.

lostbird lostbird
51-55, F
9 Responses May 4, 2009

KFC....thank you too for your ongoing support. I know there are several of us out there going through similar, so I hope we can all pull together!<br />
It seems especially hard tonight as my daughter seems very down, and I know its partly, if not wholly to do with us...her parents. : (

debysboys27 ....thank you, I don't feel too strong, in fact I think it was weakness that got me into this state in the first place!

Dear LB: Just hang in there and take care of yourself. I know the road is long, hard and lonely at times but you are not alone.<br />
<br />
My best love and wishes are going out to find you.<br />

You are so very strong. And I don't even know you. I am sure that you will be fine. Sending my best wishes for you sweetie!

Lol.....you make me me smile Lilt!<br />
<br />
I'm done with the counselling for the minute as we had covered everything that I wanted relationship -wise for now, but am keeping my options to go back here and there as and when.<br />
Also waiting for the freebie sessions to materialise from the doc's...but that could be some time!<br />
It has been a huge help to me that people who I thought would automatically take hubby's side are being supportive.

I'm so glad to hear your counseling is going well, Bird.<br />
You'll be kicking butt and taking names in no time!

Yes...exactly!<br />
Hopefully, the teary episodes will just be short lived blips from now on...:' )

Thank you enna for your words of encouragement.....I know how tough it has been for you, and no doubt still will be at times.<br />
The last year or two I have felt so broken, so damaged that I just knew I had to take steps to do something otherwise the girls may end up with NO mother, let alone one that is merely unhappy.<br />
The last time it happened it was so gut wrenching, but it did have a sort of final feel to it, like it was cleansing. My counselling sessions took a turn for the better after that, and I know that I have to change things for ME now, hopefully not in a selfish way.

Dearest lostbird, sometimes that is true! I finally spent two weeks in a psychiatric hospital (not that I'm saying you should!) and only then accepted how much damage my life was doing to the real ME. Since the I've taken steps to recreate my life.<BR><BR>I'm hoping the steps I'm taking will lead to a new and better life for me. They are not easy and there is still sadness and regret - but there is also the promise of a new beginning. And there is a feeling that I am breaking free of the shackles of my old way of life.<BR><BR>I wish you the same success - and I hope it doesn't take a break down for it to happen to you.<BR>You have my dearest and best wishes for your future happiness.