My Story....

I was sexually assaulted in my sleep by my husband. He knew I
didn't want to have any sexual contact with him, because I
wanted a divorce. I told him so before going to sleep. There
was a lot that he did to me I will not mention. But
throughout the whole thing I kept telling him no!! After he
finally finished, he left the room, I locked the door which
he picked to get back in the room. I had to fight him to get
out of my room and then ran out the back door just to get
away from him. I was so scared I left my children there
asleep. I called a friend crying and was convinced to go to
the police. I haven't seen him since I drove away, except for
the times he drove past my house, even though I have a
restraining order against him. 

He tells everyone that he is a good guy. Well I don't agree,
no good guy would ever do what he did!! I was scared, his
family informed me that I shouldn't have went to the police,
that I should have went to them to let them handle the
situation quietly. And that I should have just been ok with
it since he is my husband! Oh and get this, I was also told
that because my dad did the same thing to me that I just
hated men and had an issue with them. Well umm, I have no
problem with men in general, just the ones that I trusted and
hurt me in the worst was possible!!! Thankfully a friend
convinced me to report the assault. I didn't tell many people
out of embarrassment, and so my kids wouldn't find out. But
if every woman that this happens to does the same, then
people will still believe that spousal rape is not a big
deal. But it is! You lose not only your self worth, but your
trust in others as well. I'm terrified of just about
everything now. I don't sleep good, I jump at every little
noise. And when I'm driving and a see a truck even slightly
like his it scares me. 

No matter how much this terrifies me, I will stand up for
my rights and not be treated that way ever again!!
fairylust fairylust
31-35, F
Nov 27, 2012