Lonely And Broken Hearted.
Well where do you begin with my story. I am a 35 year old male that has a service connected disability from when I was in the United States military. Dating never came easy for me and I never thought I would do it. Then last January I met the girl of my dreams. I fell head over heels in love with her from the moment I met her. We were together for almost a year. We moved in together in May of last year, and it just went down hill from there. My relationship with her started to getting to stressful in last couple months of it. Most of it was financial and some of it was emotional. See because I have this disability I sometimes get depressed, and to add to it I was spending my entire monthly benefits from the VA to pay for her car and her house. Plus I was watching her three children while she was working. The constant fighting between the kids, the lack of money, the lack of emotional support, and the isolation I started feeling turned me into a monster. In January of this year me and her got into a loud argument about the way her child was acting. I over stepped my bounds way to much and said she should do something about the way the six year old was acting. And then I left, not thinking about what I had done. I contacted her a couple of days later, to see if she wanted to reunite and try and make this work and she told me she was moving to Texas, and that I was mean to her kids. Now I will tell you the truth in the end I was in such a panicky state I started blowing my top way too much. But some of the things her girls did to other people appalled me. Example I caught the 12 year old lighting fires in her bedroom with a lighter. I also caught the 6 year old burning paper in a candle that was in her room. They knocked my xbox 360 off a dresser and both of them lied and said they didn't know what happened and that they didn't do it, but they were the only two in the room. I found things missing from my wallet like money and an atm card. The 6 year old would deliberately start a fight with the 12 year old by spitting in her face. The 12 year old threatened the 6 year old, with physical harm. Then there were the temper tantrums. I didn't know what to do. I asked my ex-girlfriend, and she said to send them to their rooms. I did then the 6 year old started playing the game where she would run and laugh at me. Now I tried to let them handle the problems as much as I could, but I was afraid the 12 year old would hurt the 6 year old. So everytime the 6 year old spit in her sister's face, I would send her to her room. She wouldn't go she jumped in a chair and started laughing at me. So I picked her to carry her to her room, then she started punching at me and kicking at me. I thought I did what I was supposed to do. Then one day I sent her to her room, and she was on her bed kicking the walls, and even beating her head against the wall. My anxiety level went through the roof, I didn't know what to do. I picked her and sat her on my knee and told her to look at me and explain why she is doing this. I couldn't understand why she was acting that way. Other times that she would be sent to her room, she would trash it completely and throw things out the door. or she would try to break her toys. Anytime I stepped in to stop her she would scream like I punched her. and I never hit any of those children. One day in December the six year old came into my room and wanted a sandwich, I said okay but give me a minute. She said okay I'll get the stuff out to make the sandwich. A little bit later I walked into the kitchen and I seen peanut butter, jelly, bread, and a clean plate on the cupboard and assumed that is what she wanted. I made the sandwich and cut it into quarters, and told her the sandwich was there. A half hour later she came into the bedroom and said you forgot my sandwich. I said no I didn't its on the cupboard. She went into the kitchen and started screaming. She screamed that she don't like those kind. I walked out there and said what I thought that is what you wanted. She then ran into her screaming. I was perplexed. At this point I got angry myself, and said what do you want then. She wouldn't answer she just sat there in her room and screamed. So I went in there and picked her up, and carried her out to the kitchen, and told her to show me what kind of sandwich she wanted, then I made it. Now mind you she put the peanut butter and jelly out there for a sandwich before why did she change her mind. I tried leaving the next day, My ex was off the next day, and I told her I was leaving but I didn't want to leave her. But I saw her crying and I knew I loved her with all of my heart, and so I stayed. Now all through December and January my bills weren't being paid because I was paying to save her house. I only make so much money, and I was spending it the first day of the month on her house and car. Also at this time my brother was supposed to be paying me rent and he wasn't. Long story short, I was getting turned into collection agencies for past due amounts on several bills, so I was upset the whole month of January. Well then we had our fight and she moved to Texas. Before she went she told me the 12 year old told her I shook her sister, and that I was mean all the time. This devastated me. I never shook the 6 year old, so I went to the VA for anger management and psychological treatment. I was so broken hearted. Then sometime during February my ex called me on the phone, and I was so elated with joy. She wanted me back. We talked for a month, and then she wanted me to come out to Texas and bring her car. The night I was supposed to leave I hesitated a little, and then she called me on the phone and started screaming at me that I screwed her over. So I packed everything in the car, and drove to Texas. I got there in one day. I stayed for three weeks, because I had to come home and get my stuff and my truck. I also needed a month to get rid of my debt. Now throughout April she was always getting testy with me on the internet, and I didn't know what I did wrong. Then finally three weeks ago she broke up with me again. She told me she doesn't have time for a relationship and she don't love me no more. She said it was a mistake to call and she wishes she hadn't. But she wanted me to leave the car out there. I was devastated by this and started to cry. Then tonight I did something I shouldn't have I went on her facebook page, and found out she was dating again. Now I don't know what to do. I am absolutely crushed. I don't know where I went wrong. My world is just destroyed. She was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I will never find someone like her ever again. And I swear on the bible that I never did anything to hurt her children, I never meant to be mean but sometimes their actions were atrocious, and I felt they should be held accountable for them. But now my relationship with her is over and now I sit her all alone typing this.