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When There's Nothing Left To Fight For........

its been two weeks since the last day i saw him..
since the day he let go..
i realized that lately i've only been focusing on the good times..
he hasn't proven enough about his love for me..
just as much as i haven't proven anything to him either..
or have i?
we both don't have enough trust on each other..
although we both made the same promise to wait..
wait until i graduate and be done with school and be independent and be able to make my own decisions without anyone standing in my way..
wait until he finishes his obligation with his daughter.. the daughter of his ex-girlfriend..
but we can't do this..
we've only been together for 2 months..
they've been together for 5 years..
and...... HE'S 25!
i'm only 17..
and i've been immature and stupid enough to believe that he would actually fight for me..
and i'm still being that same naive little girl who's still hoping that this would work..
i really don't know what to believe..
now that we've got no communication at all and i don't get to see him..
i could only start to think that everything was a lie..
our relationship was empty..
so there's no reason to fight for it..
i guess we should just let go even though a part of me is still against it..
i want to help him get back with his ex..
because truthfully he's nothing without her..
there wouldn't be him without her..
whenever we used to fight he would call or text her instead of fixing the problem with me..
he wouldn't even have a job if it weren't for his ex..
he is nothing without her..
if i fix their relationship..
both our sins might be erased..
even if i have to force him to love her again, ill try..
because i'm tired of expecting something from someone who did nothing to proove his love for me..
right now, i'm not even sure if he really did love me..
i'm just scared he might get back with her or find someone new..
now that would definitely hurt..
and i'll end up being the dumbest girl that ever existed!
a LOSER!
i don't trust him anymore..
he broke all his promises..
he didn't keep his word..
i have NO REASON to TRUST him..
without trust..
there's NO REASON to FIGHT for my feelings..!


but i still don't know......
coz i still am deeply in love.. 3
pinkpoison95 pinkpoison95 16-17, F 1 Response May 27, 2012

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You're pretty special. You know he loves her, and you love him, yet you still have the strength to help them get back together? You are TOUGH. Dont feel to stupid, i've been there and trust me when I say you will learn from it. You are still only 17, plenty of people before you have made mistakes and plenty of people after you will make mistakes. You will get over this.

thank you so much.. :) sometimes you just have to be tough just to do the right thing.. no matter how hard it might be.. i'm still struggling though.. i can't fully accept the situation.. still hurts.. x/ but hopefully i can move on.......